"3 days my ass, you get back here you sneaky devil! Set your Proton Packs to resurrection!"

This is proof that Ray Romano's show was a lie. Everybody does not love you and will proclaim that proudly with a tramp stamp.

A 19 year old art student spent countless hours creating a portrait of Ray Charles with Post-It notes. Ray Charles quipped "I can't see it, because I am blind… and dead"

The x-ray of a snake that swallowed two lightbulbs is now in Ripley's Believe it or Not Museum, right next to the wolf-boy who DIDN'T appear on Sally Jesse.

This bizarre "cooking" show is hosted by a scary, alcoholic transvestite named Loco Mama – Rachel Ray, she-he's got your number!

Watch your little girls when you watch American Idol – or else Sanjaya will turn them into the devil!

The Silent Years are a Detroit based group who got lost and ended up in Los Angeles. Since they were already here, we figured they should come by the LG Studios and play us some songs. And you know what? That’s exactly what they did! Check out this brooding version of “Devil Got My Woman.”

LG new has assembled a collection of Rachel Ray’s most annoying moments to prove once and for all that some one really needs to slap that bitch.

We always get April showers and death metal albums mixed up. Maybe that’s because we believe in the devil?

This week Britney Spears might be pregnant, President Bush is unpopular with the polls, Scott Stap is a douche bag, and more signs of the Apocalypse.

This baby is going to grow up to worship the devil.

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.

Buy your tickets, get your candy, turn off your cellphones and stuff your face full of popping corn. It’s time to play the Movie Poster Game!