Imagine dating this girl? Every time she laughed, a secret part of you would want her dead.

When an actor dies before their movie is complete, directors are forced to make difficult choices. Here are our favorite films that were completed after the death of a principal actor.

Just found out her (ex?) husband is gay.

Plays dead better than me.

A young girls best friend.

Plays dead on command.

It's hard to tell if this cat is asleep or dead.

As some of you may have guessed, my thoughts on Christmas are a little conflicted. It's not like I have a vendetta against it like some people think. I mean, good for them. They managed to co-opt the solstice celebration. I'm not crazy about it, but it's not like I don't put up a tree and a few wreaths.

The thing that drives me nuts is the Santa Claus thing. Namely the notion that I invented Santa Claus to take the spotlight off Jesus during his birthday. Some say his name is "Santa" because it's just "Satan" with the "N" placed in front of the "T". I feel slightly insulted by the notion that I can turn into a serpent on a whim and tempt Eve out of paradise, but that when concocting a campaign to influence every Christian child in the world for hundreds of years I would just spell my name with a few letters switched around.

Continue reading...

The week ahead holds plenty of possibilities for any T.V. junkie. Here are a few picks you should definitely consider not checking out.

Monday: The Event. It has a backwards "E" in the logo! Don't you understand?! That is AWESOME! It has aliens! And intrigue! Assuming you were as enraged as anyone at the lack of accountability demonstrated in the storytelling of Lost, wouldn't watching this show put you neck-and-neck with a battered woman who meets her next boyfriend in a police drunk tank? The Event airs Monday nights at 9PM on NBC.

Tuesday: NCIS: Los Angeles. Person A: "Who's the special agent in charge here?!" Person B: "Chris O'Donnell." Person A: "I'm serious!" Person B: "So am I." Person A: "Wait, really?" NCIS: Los Angeles airs Tuesday nights at 9PM on CBS.

Wednesday: The Middle. Husband and wife. 3 kids. Oldest, jock. Middle, awkward. Youngest, precociously smart. Were you in a coma for the sitcom era of television? No? Oh, then never mind. The Middle airs Wednesday nights at 8PM on ABC.

Thursday: The Big Bang Theory. Want to see what T.V. writers imagine the extremely educated to act like? You don't have to. It turns out they act like every stereotypical nerd you've ever seen on television and in the movies.  The Big Bang Theory airs Thursday nights at 8PM on CBS.

Friday: CSI: NY. Hey, know what would be interesting? A police procedural about crime scene investigators! Sweet! Hey, know what would also be cool? If there was a version that took place in New York City. Can you imagine? A cop show in New York?! Where's our Emmy?! CSI: NY  airs Friday nights at 10PM on CBS.

Saturday: Click. In case you never saw one of the million and a half student films that tackle the concept of a television remote that influences reality, Fox is running Click, the story of a man with a television remote that influences reality. I wonder if he'll learn a valuable lesson in the end. Click airs this coming Saturday at 8PM on Fox.

Sunday: The Amazing Race. They've had 17 seasons. How can it be amazing if it's been done 17 times? I don't know, but I plan to not find out. The Amazing Race airs Sunday nights at 8PM on CBS.

In case you haven't already heard a million girls crying out loud "TRUE LOVE DOES NOT EXIST" then you should probably know that Sandra Bullock's husband, Jesse James, probably cheated with on her this tattooed chick pictured below. Here name is "Michaell Bombshell" McGee (as opposed to just "Tits McGee"). This is disappointing to say the least. WE ACTUALLY LIKE SANDRA! But we're also conflicted because we REALLY LIKE TATTOOS. Maybe Sandra should have just gotten tattoos because they kinda look similar? Maybe? Not really? Ugh, we don't know we're just going to go to lunch now and get drunk with Irish people.

Here's Bombshell's Twitter.

Her website.

Become a fan of hers on Facebook!

Mad Men's Christina Hendricks is probably the most important women in showbiz. Her national treasures (BOOBS, FYI) should be protected by the government forever. Also, her husband should be killed so we could marry her. It would be nice, just sayin'. Wouldn't you agree?

(via The Superficial)

So you've finally seen the iPad and made a tampon joke or two about it. But if my gut is telling the truth, then we're all going to be dead when the people at Apple Corporate murder us with their lazer beam eyes. Seriously! Have you checked out that iPad video yet? Here are some stills:

Senior Vice President of Industrial Design Jonathan Ive is responsible for make the things at Apple pretty. However, his eyes can see through your underpants and shoot amazingly designed lazer beams at your face, so watch out.

After he's done eating all the meat on your bones, SVP of Hardware Bob Mansfield, will kidnap your 13-year-old nephew and try to play video games with him. Or he might appear in Crimson Tide 2 - SERIOUSLY GUYS, DOESN'T HE LOOK LIKE THAT ONE GUY? JUST A LITTLE BIT?

Scott Forstall, SVP of iPhone Software, will stare at you from across the room until you're completely naked. I kid you not. He will not leave until then.

Okay, stop looking at them. You know what I'm talking about. This is getting a little childish right now.