Don't Tailgate This Dude!
Dramatic Rescue of Dog from Freezing Sea
The Joy of Teasing Dogs
"You Like Me, You Really, Really, Like Me"
Edward Gory's "Mystery" Intro
Public Fornication- Underwater Style
Best Bus Stop Ever?
Hackers of Montana Station Warn of Unfolding Zombie Apocalypse
Human Mattress Dominoes World Record
Granted this kid does look super creepy, but have a little tact! Possessed demon children have feelings too.
Done by the creepiest guy ever.
Doesn't know if he's crying or laughing.
I bet that girl cried for hours.
Here's a dispatch from the Furry Movement. A portrait of a man or lady dressed as a dog...while holding their dog. What's scary about this isn't the fact that the Furry appears to be on crystal meth, what's scary is that somebody allowed this person into their studio to take this photograph. We believe in Limited Government, but when citizens are allowed to dress like freaking morons and these freaking morons are allowed to own dogs and these morons somehow find a way to use the internet and upload these photos, well, we just think there should be a special Waterboarding and Execution Division of the US Government that would punish people who do these sort of things. It's not adorable, dude. It's just disturbing and sad and we're going to go to our room and cry now.
You can see more of this disgustingness here.
It's a sad day for MTV and the world. The Hills is being cancelled. But don't cry because there is still one more season left. Plus, you have all of The Hills parodies we've made over the years. Watch below if you want to piss your pants (yeah, we said it!).
Also, The Hills Go To Paris!
I've never seen a baby this terrifed of Miley Cyrus since she tried to eat a baby. Pay attention of how she blinks and cries when she sees Miley Cyrus sing. What a smart little kid.
I love kids. I can't wait to have more!
In case you haven't already heard a million girls crying out loud "TRUE LOVE DOES NOT EXIST" then you should probably know that Sandra Bullock's husband, Jesse James, probably cheated with on her this tattooed chick pictured below. Here name is "Michaell Bombshell" McGee (as opposed to just "Tits McGee"). This is disappointing to say the least. WE ACTUALLY LIKE SANDRA! But we're also conflicted because we REALLY LIKE TATTOOS. Maybe Sandra should have just gotten tattoos because they kinda look similar? Maybe? Not really? Ugh, we don't know we're just going to go to lunch now and get drunk with Irish people.
Here's Bombshell's Twitter.
Become a fan of hers on Facebook!
Just kidding! She's not fat at all! In fact, she's probably anorexic! Her name is Brooklyn Decker, and she's married to that tennis player Andy Roddick - that guy who looks like Stifler, who is that guy in American Pie who wants to bang your mom.
Some quick facts about Brooklyn, who we're thinking about stalking (because why not!).
-She's giving you major bone right now
-She's on Twitter - which means it's easy to find reasons why she might be really annoying. Like this reason:
But then we stop looking at her Twitter feed and stumble upon photos like this and realize that we can put up with annoying people, so long as they look like the hottest freaking girl in the world.
But then we remember we're not Andy Roddick, and we don't have six-pack abs and our name isn't something awesome like The Situation. We slowly realize we're totally never going to bang Brookly Decker. Then we cry. Then we go to Subway and order some fatass sandwich, not the healthy ones that Jared orders. Then we go home, cry some more while looking at ourself in the mirror and then turn on the computer to try and find naked pictures of Brooklyn Decker on the internet.
Eventually we end up like this:
Go ahead. Get your Sports Illustrated Swim Suit Issue fix right here.
Doctor: So, what are you here for?
Wife: I've been very emotional lately.
Doctor: Really. Give me an example?
Wife: Well, I was watching Star Wars --
Doctor: Okay, here's a gun. Take it home and shoot yourself in the morning.
Invite a lady friend over, turn off the lights, and get into the mood. Or just listen to this by yourself and cry. Whatevs.
(via The Gregory Brothers)
Excuse the dust around here, and all the little bugs and mispellings you're bound to find on our little corner on the internet. We're going to try something a little different today.
As part of President Obama's push to make more American teens read, he personally reached out to LiquidGeneration* to provide some word-based entertainment for you. Sure, you'll still see our award winning** animations and games, but you'll also see Words. Lots of them, as ordered by the Commander In Chief of the United States of America. So if you don't like it, don't be mad because we'll just ask Obama to bomb you. For the children. Because he wants them to learn how to read, through us.
Thank you for reading,
P.S. - If you see anything you love or hate, we'd like to know about it. Just leave a comment below, or if you really want to make me upset and cry like a little girl, just shoot me a personal email: email@example.com.
*no he didn't
**Awards, as in the cookies our mothers give us each time we make fun of Lindsay Lohan. They hate her because she's one of those "fast girls." Their words.
Her butt makes us want to cry happy tears just to know something like it exists in this horrible world.
Ugh. We identify too much with this. Too much. We are crying right now. Crying. We hope you, too, can feel his pain if you're not fat. Today, we're all fat kids.
Perez Hitlon got his ass beat by one of Will.i.Am's (ANNOYING NAME, DUDE!) people at the MuchMusic Awards this past weekend. Later The Mighty Gay One made a video about what happened, which is where this picture came from. It's fun to see this dude cry, right?
Celebrate Earth Day by despising a bunch of hippies who cry over dead trees.
Baseball movies are usually fun because they involve delicious cracker jacks.