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What to Give For Christmas This Year

By: Tom L
December 13 2010, 1:23 PM

Christmas is about to sneak up on us again. When I doubt my gift selecting ability, I turn to tradition as a guide, ensuring that my gifts will adhere to the good, honest, decent American values that made this country, and the show Mad Men, great. That's why this year, I'll be giving Camel cigarettes. Former President Reagan's endorsement notwithstanding, I was initially skeptical of cigarettes as a gift, since they get so much bad press, but that was before I found out that more doctors smoke Camels than any other cigarette. So Merry Christmas everyone! Smoke 'em if you got 'em!

 

 

The Smoking Baby

The Smoking Baby

This baby smokes 40 cigarettes a day. PIMP.

 

Puppies Try To Gangbang Dude

Puppies Try To Gangbang Dude

...and afterwards they celebrated with cigarettes and doggy biscuits.

 

 

 

Hmm. We don't know about this. At first we were like, "Oh, Storm Trooper mid-riffs are hot!" And then we waited a second, looked at the girls one more time and were like, "These chicks look like they smoke three packs of cigarettes a day! Not hot!" What do you think?

 

 

Lohan's Lesbian Reunion

Lohan's Lesbian Reunion

Though it's not tough to figure out who wears the "pants" in the relationship, we can also deduce from this picture that Samantha holds the cigarettes.

 

Oh right, Britney Spears

Oh right, Britney Spears

Almost forgot about you, how are you doing? Wearing sweatpants, smoking cigarettes, and showing a little bump, good to see you're staying the course.

 

TMNT Drugs PSA

TMNT Drugs PSA

The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles once made PSAs for kids. This one shows toddlers can avoid the temptations of marijuana cigarettes.

 

Every Cigarette Does You Damage

Every Cigarette Does You Damage

This anti-smoking ad will really make you reconsider your next cigarette. Or 20.

 

Smoketastic Flinstones Commercial

Smoketastic Flinstones Commercial

The Flintstones used to endorse Winston cigarettes. Guess they'll be hearing from my lawyer, now that I have lung cancer!