Probably NSFW. In fact, it's definitely NSFW...but it's inspiring.

The best part of watching a news anchor lose it live, is the fact that they have to maintain composure.

As some of you may have guessed, my thoughts on Christmas are a little conflicted. It's not like I have a vendetta against it like some people think. I mean, good for them. They managed to co-opt the solstice celebration. I'm not crazy about it, but it's not like I don't put up a tree and a few wreaths.

The thing that drives me nuts is the Santa Claus thing. Namely the notion that I invented Santa Claus to take the spotlight off Jesus during his birthday. Some say his name is "Santa" because it's just "Satan" with the "N" placed in front of the "T". I feel slightly insulted by the notion that I can turn into a serpent on a whim and tempt Eve out of paradise, but that when concocting a campaign to influence every Christian child in the world for hundreds of years I would just spell my name with a few letters switched around.

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The objective of any social situation is to make everyone else feel dumb and always have the last word. Here are a few issues to discuss at tonight's dinner engagement, and a couple ways you can be a pompous, know-it-all prick when talking about them.

Talking Point: Obama's Asia trip was a disaster!
Anyone who brings this up is probably referring to Monday's Slate article written by Eliot Spitzer. But you don't have the schooling to discuss international politics! Divert attention from the real issue by taking a cheap shot at Spitzer for the prostitution scandal (which I'd estimate is still 2 years away from being stale) by doing something like pretending to confuse Spitzer with Charlie Sheen, then exclaiming "Oh sorry, I can't imagine how I mixed those two up!" to peals of laughter. Fair warning, though, in the wrong crowd this could lead to an earnest discussion of Two and a Half Men.

Talking point: Prince William is marrying a commoner!
Key know-it-all prick info: The notion that British royals are bound to marry other royals is actually false (note the use of the word "actually" here. "Actually" is a really good way to sound like a know-it-all prick). They've been marrying outside their own ranks for years. And thank god, because they were becoming known for their inbreeding. As for any issues the Queen has about the marriage, whip this one out: According to George Bernard Shaw in Pygmalion, "It is impossible for an Englishman to open his mouth without making some other Englishman hate or despise him"! Everyone is sure to laugh uproariously at this, and you'll be remembered for the most deftly applied Shaw quote of the season!

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I love the narrator. Despite it being insanity, he's totally matter-of-fact about everything.

Here's a dispatch from the Furry Movement. A portrait of a man or lady dressed as a dog...while holding their dog. What's scary about this isn't the fact that the Furry appears to be on crystal meth, what's scary is that somebody allowed this person into their studio to take this photograph. We believe in Limited Government, but when citizens are allowed to dress like freaking morons and these freaking morons are allowed to own dogs and these morons somehow find a way to use the internet and upload these photos, well, we just think there should be a special Waterboarding and Execution Division of the US Government that would punish people who do these sort of things. It's not adorable, dude.  It's just disturbing and sad and we're going to go to our room and cry now. 

You can see more of this disgustingness here.

We've spent a lot of nights consoling friends who were having relationship problems, but most of them were old enough to count to five. This girl -- who goes by the internet name of Heartbreak Girl - is but a mere child with a physically small heart, YET her small heart has SO MUCH LOVE TO GIVE, so much that it might explode due to heartbreak. And if it does ever explode, the little girl will die and she'll be buried in a small coffin and then you won't think this video is funny anymore. These are just the facts!

Cats look adorable, but somewhere in your heart of hearts you just know they are one of the most evil animals in the world. In fact, we'd even go so far as to say that cats are generally sneaky bastards who shouldn't be trusted with anything, especially young children. That said, we hope that this small child eventually ripped the heart out of this cat and ate it for dinner.

Hey guess what, nerds! Being a dork is popular these days! In fact, nerding yourself up will get you rich! Laid! Jay-Z isn't your hero these days, it's Facebook creator Mark Zuckerberg, right?

No?

That's what I thought. Still, this parody of Jay Z's Empire State of Mind preaches The Dream for all you socially enept people out there.

You can use ChatRoulette for bingo playing, masturbating and now AWKWARD DATING. Yes, you can only video chat with somebody for so long until you need to be creeped out by each other in person. Recently our friends Chuck McCarthy and Will Hutson met a girl on CR and thought HEY, THIS IS EXCITING. So they met up with her at a local restaurant...who knows, pretty soon they might all be married.  I dunno. Right now ChatRoulette Dating is classified as an extreme sport because it's just so new, and you have to be kind of crazy to do it. Or not be scared of STDs. I don't know what's floating around ChatRoulette these days so I really can't say. I haven't been there since Monday.

Anyway, check out this footage of Chuck and Will's date.

Our old friend Chuck McCarthy is on the hunt for a job, a job of chronic masturbation and full-time sadness at ChatRoulette.com. Here is his application video. I reached out to him to see if he got the job, but he was in the bathroom with his laptop, masturbating of course.

It's Fat Friday again, where the LG Animators’ go out to lunch and consume the most amount of fat and calories as we possibly can. It’s all about getting hungry and attacking fast food joints. Maybe even get kicked out of a few because people hate our “Get Out or Pig Out,” Eat, Sleep, Draw” and “Love, Peace and Taco Grease” T-shirts. We like being cheesy, because we like cheese. In fact, this Friday I won't rest until I get my fix of cheese. The combination of turkey, cheese, fries and delicious Rottweiler has put me over the edge to eat!

Also! The LG store is back! Since we announced the LG store back in November, we have added even more sugar and more cholesterol. Now we have bags of bite size brownies, cookies, and Pixy Stix. They have raised our blood sugar level quickly, causing a cheap thrill sugar rush. Maybe they will keep us from going hungry for a couple weeks. We also got a new bottle of diet pills Zantrex, because bulimia and anorexia is just not cutting it.

Fat Friday Pro Tip: Just eat it! You're already fat!

Just kidding! She's not fat at all! In fact, she's probably anorexic! Her name is Brooklyn Decker, and she's married to that tennis player Andy Roddick - that guy who looks like Stifler, who is that guy in American Pie who wants to bang your mom.

Some quick facts about Brooklyn, who we're thinking about stalking (because why not!).

-She's 22-years-old

-She's giving you major bone right now

-She's on Twitter - which means it's easy to find reasons why she might be really annoying. Like this reason:

But then we stop looking at her Twitter feed and stumble upon photos like this and realize that we can put up with annoying people, so long as they look like the hottest freaking girl in the world.

But then we remember we're not Andy Roddick, and we don't have six-pack abs and our name isn't something awesome like The Situation. We slowly realize we're totally never going to bang Brookly Decker. Then we cry. Then we go to Subway and order some fatass sandwich, not the healthy ones that Jared orders. Then we go home, cry some more while looking at ourself in the mirror and then turn on the computer to try and find naked pictures of Brooklyn Decker on the internet.

Eventually we end up like this:

Go ahead. Get your Sports Illustrated Swim Suit Issue fix right here.

There are lots of websites on today's information superhighway, and many of them are stupid. Like the one we found today. It involves popular film actor Tom Selleck, lush waterfalls and tasty sandwiches. And wouldn't you know? The website is called Selleck Waterfall Sandwich! Well look at that! All three of our favorite things wrapped up into one!

There is a truism we have about the internet and it's this: Whatever you want, it already exists. This is 99% fact. If you don't believe us just head to your nearest Google and just start pounding your keyboard like a monkey. 

Here's a few pics from Selleck Waterfall Sandwich.