"Oh lady you don't know what you have done here. I am going to eat the hell out of your shoes. Prepare yourself!"

Black tribesmen in Africa use their evil foot magic to revive a ranting Rosie O'Donnell. Food everywhere cowers in fear.

Prison is a lot like school; you hang with your buddies, have recess, and eat crappy food. The upside is the food is better; the downside is the corndogs have no sticks.

Are you as revolted by the Meg White Sex Tape as this reporter is? We hope so.

Proof that the squirrel the in your backyard will do pretty much anything to steal food from your bird feeder.

Don’t mess with Kirstie, she is hungry and isn't in the mood for any of your crap! Maybe she was angry the Chinese Restaurant didn't have FETTUCCINE!

A former Walmart employee bought these Chinese-made flip flops and later got a chemical burn from the plastic strap. Now Walmart's giving her a horrible time about it! WTF!

Nando's is a restaurant chain in Australia that features a spicy chili called Peri-Peri. Apparently Aussies think it's a good idea to humorously promote their "addictive" food with a stripper and a "replacement" patch for when you can't get to the 'strant.

This a-hole cop accuses a drive-thru worker of ripping him off, then maces her. Turns out he was wrong, wrong, wrong!

Elwood was named the World's Ugliest Dog 2007! He's a 2-year-old Chinese Crested and Chihuahua mix. I think he's the most adorable, ugly thing ever!

Hard Gay is not the kind of guy you'd leave alone with your kids. So let's watch him try to make a little boy enjoy some food!

This life-like horse sculpture is made entirely out of driftwood! Beautiful, majestic, and safe from becoming dog food!

Seriously, this almost made me puke – she got a maggot on the brain. Parasites are awesome! So's the narrator's voice.

This Chinese chick has got some of the freakiest feet around. Maybe they quit foot-binding a little soon, huh?

Now that's what I call finger food! HA!!

A surprisingly sober Tara Reid is looking less like a bag o' puke these days. Good for her.

Celebrate black history with your favorite types of soul food. Delicious!

Look deep into this dog's butt and see a vision of Jesus. Then puke.

Kevin Federline did a Nationwide Insurance commercial that's scheduled to air during the Super Bowl – and people are upset that it's insulting to fast food workers!

Did the Food Network slip in subliminal ads for McDonald's during Iron Chef America? Crazy!