It never fails, the hottest girls are always the ones you can't have. Video game characters are no exception. They're sexy, they're fine, and they're unattainable.

Life in South Park is hard. Just look at some of the residents and visitors who have attempted suicide. Of course, being South Park, not even a bullet to the head can stop some of these characters.

Not including Ralph Wiggum (or any Simpsons character), these are some of our favorite cartoon dimwits. While some are just clueless, a few of these characters are absolute morons.

Sure, there is a full episode of 'The Simpsons' involving Jay Sherman. But these are some of the less obvious, but equally amusing, cartoon character crossovers.

I love how the lesbian kisses were edited and then the characters disappeared. Now we've got Hayden Panettiere doing it to try and save her show.

With the recent attempt by Amtrak to cause a riot aboard a Baltimore to Philadelphia train, I thought this would be a good time to compare U.S. train travel to that of Japan. After drawing up a table of comparisons, I realized I was wasting my time. I think these two pictures carry the message.

Japan:

United States:

Ralph Wiggum may not be a main character on The Simpsons, but he certainly has some of the funniest lines. Watch this video and see how many times you laugh at what he says.

In real life, alcoholism is a horrible disease (see Lindsay Lohan.) But hard-drinking cartoon characters are super cute.

Over the years we've made A LOT of St. Patrick's Day cartoons featuring our favorite character The Angry Leprchaun. We even started using him for cartoons for other holidays because that's just how awesome he is - plus it's really hard to come up with good characters. He just works for everything  we want to do. And he's a drunk and drunks are always hilarious. Especially when they have Irish accents. So here's a smattering of Angry Leprechaun St. Patrick's Day e-cards and toons that you can send your friends today!

Note: Yes, the Leprechaun's drawing style and voice has changed over the years. That's what happens when you become more advanced and professional!

Don't Drink & Drive With The Angry Leprechaun - This one rawks. The Angry Leprechaun goes on a drunk driving rampage.

The Evil Leprechaun: Cabbage & Gravy - one of the first cartoons to feature the Angry Leprechaun. For some reason we called him "evil" back then.

St. Patrick's Day: A Girl From China - one of the more recent ones

Angry Leprechaun's Public Service Announcement - He does good things for the community.

The Evil Leprechaun: Lovely Lassie - Again, one of the first two Angry Leprechaun e-cards we've ever made.

Beer Before Liquor PSA - Another "More You Know" PSA...

Drink Responsibly - He sure did love doing these PSA. We wonder how many lives these things have saved?

St. Patricks' Day E-Card: My Darling - Send this too your loved one...

St. Patrick's Day Limmerick: A Good Looking Mommy - For the MILFs.

Enjoy!

Toby from The Office is one of our favorite characters ever invented, if only because we just love to see Michael Scott berate the crap out of him for anything he does. However, he is kind of creepy. Like serial killer creepy. And rape-y looking. You didn't even know that was a word, did you? Yep, "rape-y" is a special word used only for Toby from The Office. Well, somebody awesome took this observation and made a movie trailer about it.

As the end of the winter season approaches, it's time to reflect on all you've accomplished during this frigid months. Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years Eve and Casmir Polaski Day (Hello, Chicagoans), we've been through a lot these days. But still, one thing remains for you to do: have a sexy snowball fight with two of the hottest fictional characters ever: Princess Leia and Lara Croft. Just in case you're too pussy to ask them to snowball fight yourself, we have this video for you.

In my quest for pop culture knowledge, I watched the first episode of this season' American Idol.

What do I have to report?

You are going to see lots of tummies this Spring. If Celebrity Rehab (just watched a clip online) has taught us anything, it's that you don't have to be a winner to be a trend setter. I might not be in touch, but I do have somewhat of an erie talent for trend spotting, and if my senses are on the money, Janet McNamara is going to really leave her belly print on the halls and bathrooms of fashion this Spring and Fall. Over the next couple of months, expect to see even more jelly bellies than on Easter, which is actually in a couple of months.

Plus, don't be surprised if Janet doesn't turn out to be more successful in the long run than Ruben Studdard, just like everyone else. I can't imagine that the producers of the American Idol video game won't license her likeness for use as some sort of hidden character in the next edition of the game.

Furthermore, she inspired me to get pumped for my next job interview.

Chuck McCarthy is the mastermind behind IdeasByChuck.com, where he gives away great ideas in the hopes that you turn them into reality and remember to send him a small percentage of your profits. He Twitters here and Tumbls here. Chuck will be guest blogging for LiquidGeneration the next couple weeks!