I don’t know if he is calling a penalty or doing the YMCA, but whatever it is, it's FABULOUS!

Does the car hit the old lady, or does the old lady hit the car? It's like Zen, y'all.

These pyrotechnicians are making a wall of fire because they're apparently bored and like to burn things. Sounds like my job!

Sarah Michelle Gellar (or SMG as I call her) was caught on camera with the reddest eyes this side of Jamaica. She was hanging out with Mischa Barton, mayhaps?

PORN STARS! POP STARS! They all look the same! How can we ever tell them apart? It’s up to you my friend. You’re the only who can help us spot he difference!

When the judge's decision to send Paris back to prison is read, an unseen man cries out in obvious agony. Will celebrity justice never be served??

Paris is getting hauled off *BACK* to Lynwood today! Are you ecstatic or sad?

Spider-Man! Spider-Man! Which Spider-Man character are you?

There's a sinkhole in Mexico, and it's in Britney's ass. Too bad it couldn't suck up any of her cellulite (or crappy weave, for that matter).

Paris Hilton's wax figure got outfitted in prison stripes... good thing stripes are in this season!!

I'm not really sure who TV actress Megan Fox is, or why she might be famous, but she walked the red carpet at the MTV Movie Awards long enough for photogs to get a good shot of one stupid, nonsensical tattoo. 'Gilded butterflies'? Come on!!

George Clooney is looking extra gaunt these days, and that gross tan isn't helping him look better or younger. Just say no to Nicole Richie!!

Eva Cavalli, sister of designer Roberto Cavalli, was working the runway when she had a fashion disaster! Good thing you were wearing knickers, Eva!

This guy has something to do with Pamela Anderson's new movie. Great. All I know is, he's lookin' at the same things I am!!

They can act, they can sing, but most of the time, they have no idea how to talk. It’s amazing how celebrities let the most insane things come out of their mouths!

This is one of those bands that I knew nothing about before they came in, and thought they would sound much different than they did…probably because of the name. It turns out that ATE happened to be one of my favorite performances in long time. If you are into BritPop and/or the Smiths I think this might be your new favourite band.

Some awesome footage of Jessica Alba's photoshoot for the newest issue of GQ. Apparently they think she's pretty or something.

Limbeck are a band from the Los Angeles area, or to be more specific Orange County. They play a brand of classic California rock the way it used to be done back in the 70s. I have had a chance to see the band live a couple of times and their new self-titled record is one of my favorites of 2007. It’s the kinda music that makes you want to have a BBQ!

Paris is getting into shape before prison, and luckily for us man-lovers, her trainer is SUPER hot!!

White people are always keeping the black man down.