The hottest new baby – that’s NOT a Scientologist!

What’s with Tom Cruise naming his Scientology baby Suri? How about Gwyneth Paltrow’s baby, Moses? Why do celebrities insist on naming their babies such stupid names?

In case you’re wondering, Baby Eaters are those that are a little bit crazy, little bit zombie. They are not that sexy.

This is almost as creepy as the Trainspotting baby. Weirdness!

Sure, let's just stick our hand in our babies ass and pull out a candy bar.

Somebody has some explaining to do.

This guy had a chance to talk to his wrestling heroes and he ends up crying like a little baby.

Babies are so lucky.

Do you ever get midgets and babies confused? We do because they’re both so damn adorable.

This baby is going to grow up to worship the devil.

This is a tricky one. Can you find the baby?

These mothers just had their babies, so naturally, their boobs are ginormous and fantastic.

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.

Britney’s Baby is out of the womb and already he’s complaining about daddy being a Gold Digger. Here’s parody of Kanye West’s ‘Gold Digger’.

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.

You’re Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck’s baby and it’s your job to get down the birth canal as soon as possible. Watch out, Britney’s fetus is gonna make your job very difficult!

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.

Buy your tickets, get your candy, turn off your cellphones and stuff your face full of popping corn. It’s time to play the Movie Poster Game!

Tom Cruise is known for his devotion to Scientology, being crazy, having a baby with Katie Holmes, but did you know he also makes movies? It’s true! That’s why we devoted a whole Stupid Movie Quiz to this quackjob.