Columbus discovered America! You can discover whoose boobs these are!

LG’s resident sexologist is back with some barbequing advice for the summer! If you’re firing up the grill this weekend, you might want hear what The Spanish Fly has to say about the Great American Barbeque.

Yeah, Bikini Girl is hottish. She'd be just plain "hot" if we never saw her on American Idol and didn't know she was so stupid.

Philip Norris explains why Adam Lambert lost American Idol and why Americans hate the gays. Good Times!

Sometimes it just takes a picture to let you know why American is awesome.

That's some sexy makeup!

Watch as these girls totally lose it over Dave Archuleta losing on American Idol. And by "lose it" I mean GO BANANAS.

Ashley Harkleroad was defeated in the first round 6-4, 6-3 by some French chick. Hairy armpits should never defeat Grade A American ass, this is will not be tolerated.

This is what Europeans picture when they think of the American family.

Apparently she wasn't aware this was an audition for a very serious athletic competition that involves cannon-propelled tennis balls.

Heidi and Spencer embody all of our hopes and dreams.

American Idol is finally over. Now I can get beck to my normal life of listening to non-crappy music.

Paula Abdul screwed up and now everybody knows that American Idol is fake!

The epitome of the American Dream in 2008.

Or does Paula have a Flux Capacitor?

American Idol's David Archuleta giggles like the most adorable child/bitch ever.

What's more American than a 222 lb. cheeseburger?

It's your turn to beat the crap out of those judges from American Idol.

American Idols should be thin and beautiful, not fat and radish haired. Boo Fantasia, boo.. And I don't mean the term of endearment.

Just what Americans need, more reasons to sit on their ass and watch TV. Who wants cheese waffles!?