Don't Tailgate This Dude!
Dramatic Rescue of Dog from Freezing Sea
The Joy of Teasing Dogs
Edward Gory's "Mystery" Intro
Public Fornication- Underwater Style
"You Like Me, You Really, Really, Like Me"
Best Bus Stop Ever?
Hackers of Montana Station Warn of Unfolding Zombie Apocalypse
Human Mattress Dominoes World Record
So, yeah, this is a thing, human mattress dominos. And China just kicked America's arse and stole the world record. So, let's get on this people. This is a rally call.
Did you know the Fat Kid is quite the singer? Okay, maybe not. But the kid tries. Here's him wishing you all a Happy 4th of July in his own little way. And remember, our FAT KID NINJA game is available now for you iPhone. Look in the App Store!
Well, this is one way of looking at things.... (Where the other 12 seconds are we do not know... Maybe America ate them)
Unfortunately, if this happened in America, the teacher would probably be fired.
Unfortunately, if this happened in America, the teacher would probably be fired.
This 17-YEAR OLD girl is one pack of bubble-gum away from becoming a complete and total trainwreck. Sadly, unlike LiLo, 'It's Britney, Bitch', or even old-school Drew B....I can't wait to watch her derail.
This just breaking: America's sweatheart, Sandra Shark, has adopted a delicious baby. The baby weighs just 7lbs and is said to contain at least 70% meat, which sharks just love, especially the celebrity kind. This news comes just as Sandra Shark has confirmed to People Magazine her divorce from the head of Facebook's Adolf Hitler Fanclub page, Jessie James. CONGRATS, SANDRA SHARK!
Why the hell were we born in America? Why couldn't we be born in Japanese, a country that's entirely AWESOME AND CONFUSING AND OBSESSED WITH BOOBS? Really. Things there are just so much more exciting, like this commercial. IS THAT A FREAKING DOG OR A LLAMA? We don't know and we just don't care because whatever it is WE WANT TO CUDDLE WITH IT. Everything the Japanese make -- from game shows to porn -- is the highest of psycheldelic/freakshow-esque perfection. Or simply, they are a sneak peak at what humans will be in the distant future.
Now that most of America has eaten their lunch (we don't care about you, Hawaii!), we can show you these photos of Quentin Tarantino sucking some lady's feet. In case you didn't already know, Quentin loves feet, which we find pretty disgusting because we just have to look at our feet to be disgusted by feet in general. Our feet smell like vinegar. Not lying. We put plastic bags around our feet to contain the smell and so that vinegar feet lovers don't try to put our feet on salads.
These are the plastic bags we wear around our feet to contain the fumes.
This is a pair of vinegar feet. You might want to run to the bathroom and vomit up your lunch right now.
Some people are a lot more talented than others. Her vagina should be on American Idol.
Question 1: Is this a real photo or a still from the soon to be released hit sequel event of the summer, Coming To America Too, starring Tyler Perry?
Question 2: Is this a real world leader or some sort of Epcot Center exhibit?
Question 3: Do you know who this is?
When I was asked to write for Liquid Generation, my first though was, "Yes!" My second thought was, "What the F am I going to write about that people are going to care about?" I have no idea what is going on in the world, and I'm sure that you, the LG reader, don't want to hear about my mom making hats, my roommate Kate eating all my potato chips, or my inability to feel... anything... in my heart... I am dead inside...
So what did I do?
I did some research. I turned to THE source for mainstream pop culture here in the United States of America, M Magazine. Guess what. I was not disappointed.
Less than 5 pages into the magazine I came across this article about Serena Williams' recent tennis win against Mother Nature (must be Mick Foley's cousin). Apparently, Serena shut Mother Nature out in straight sets, proving not only herself as THE dominant force in women's tennis, but also showing great ethical fortitude, as apparently Mother Nature has been trying to bribe her by sending her a gift every month.
Okay, you got me. It's not an article. It's an ad for Tampax tampons, the most ridiculous ad for tampons I have ever seen, and completely indicative of the kind of slovenly work that is being done in every corner of print media - people all around are doing crappy jobs.
I couldn't find out exactly how much Serena is getting paid to endorse Tampax, but taking into account how much she has been paid for other endorsement deals, it is probably somewhere in the area of $3 million. The photographer who shot this ad probably made at least a couple of grand for a couple hours work. The art director's copy editors, and everyone involved made a good amount of money from putting this ad together, yet they picked the photo that looks like Serena is squeezing out a fart, not celebrating victory.
Maybe it was all Serena's fault. Maybe she never gave them the right look.
All I am saying is that if you paid me $3 million, I would start using tampons, I would make the right face in the photo shoot, and I could probably even take the picture myself... I have a camera with a timer on it.
Chuck McCarthy is the mastermind behind IdeasByChuck.com, where he gives away great ideas in the hopes that you turn them into reality and remember to send him a small percentage of your profits. He Twitters here and Tumbls here. Chuck will be guest blogging for LiquidGeneration the next couple weeks!
Excuse the dust around here, and all the little bugs and mispellings you're bound to find on our little corner on the internet. We're going to try something a little different today.
As part of President Obama's push to make more American teens read, he personally reached out to LiquidGeneration* to provide some word-based entertainment for you. Sure, you'll still see our award winning** animations and games, but you'll also see Words. Lots of them, as ordered by the Commander In Chief of the United States of America. So if you don't like it, don't be mad because we'll just ask Obama to bomb you. For the children. Because he wants them to learn how to read, through us.
Thank you for reading,
P.S. - If you see anything you love or hate, we'd like to know about it. Just leave a comment below, or if you really want to make me upset and cry like a little girl, just shoot me a personal email: email@example.com.
*no he didn't
**Awards, as in the cookies our mothers give us each time we make fun of Lindsay Lohan. They hate her because she's one of those "fast girls." Their words.
Proving once again that if New Jersey is the armpit of America, Philadelphia is that part near your scrotum that you never wash. Is that harsh?
Columbus discovered America! You can discover whoose boobs these are!
Sometimes it just takes a picture to let you know why American is awesome.
Howard Stern leaked a raw "board mix" of Beyonce's performance on Good Morning America. This might make your ears bleed.
If anyone asks you why America is awesome, idiotic talk show fights are the answer.
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