This will surely not get a girl pregnant. Nor will it get you a girlfriend, laid, or anything else you can possibly want.

This poor girl can't stop sneezing. Luckily the internet is here to make light of the horrible situation.

In honor of 'New Moon,' we've decided to put together a list that showcases just how sexy vampires can be.

Now that they're in a better place, let them take you to a better place!

As expected, they get pretty creative.

If you have big boobs, you might need to put something between them that gives them support. It's a great, totally sexy idea! Not really!

These chicks can beat the crap out of your face.

We totally would have thrown the girl over the railing. But that's just us.

This girl is like Survivorman, but a lot more talented.

Nope, this is the scariest bass player ever!

Some might call this girl 'crazy' for liking the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles this much. We just think she's really...well, she's crazy.

One man, especially one who is British, should never have so much power over a female. It's just unethical. Like, spread the wealth, dude. There are other guys who want girls to go crazy over them, too, ya know.

Jerri Blank from Strangers with Candy is the one girl we would never, ever bang. Fun fact! Here are the 10 trashiest quotes from the cult show.

Nothing like a girl on girl fight to make a horrible movie watchable. And sexy!

These are the 10 sexiest animated women you'd bone in a heartbeat were it physically possible.

You will never watch Jurassic Park the same way again, girl.

We reacted the same way when we saw the trailer for New Moon -- and we have man parts.

You could really get away with a lot during the 80s.

These girls are going to watch this video in ten years and realize that they were never cute and adorable as a kid, but scary and AXE-murderer-ish.

Life's challenging enough. We help by putting together the ten hottest actresses to take a turn on the pole and play a stripper.