This will surely not get a girl pregnant. Nor will it get you a girlfriend, laid, or anything else you can possibly want.

This poor girl can't stop sneezing. Luckily the internet is here to make light of the horrible situation.

Now that they're in a better place, let them take you to a better place!

As expected, they get pretty creative.

These chicks can beat the crap out of your face.

We totally would have thrown the girl over the railing. But that's just us.

This girl is like Survivorman, but a lot more talented.

Some might call this girl 'crazy' for liking the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles this much. We just think she's really...well, she's crazy.

One man, especially one who is British, should never have so much power over a female. It's just unethical. Like, spread the wealth, dude. There are other guys who want girls to go crazy over them, too, ya know.

Jerri Blank from Strangers with Candy is the one girl we would never, ever bang. Fun fact! Here are the 10 trashiest quotes from the cult show.

Nothing like a girl on girl fight to make a horrible movie watchable. And sexy!

You will never watch Jurassic Park the same way again, girl.

We reacted the same way when we saw the trailer for New Moon -- and we have man parts.

These girls are going to watch this video in ten years and realize that they were never cute and adorable as a kid, but scary and AXE-murderer-ish.

The best gamers are the ones that make nerds horny.

This girl really cannot pronounce "peanuts." Or she just has something else on her mind. That perv.

Technically, this isn't NSFW. But something about it just makes us feel really non-horny.

Introducing, the future of America. People don't get any better than this.

Girls don't fart and they're not suppose to poop. They're also not suppose to slide their teeth off on TV.

Some guys cry like girls -- not because they were kicked in the gonads -- but because they *don't* have any gonads.