DDR should settle every dispute.

Who said music sucked in the 80s? It was a revolutionary time for fog machines and throat guitarists.

Invisible musical laser beams are the future.

Proposal, you know how England shipped all its convicts to Australia? Maybe we can ship all our useless celebs to Turkey.

Shamu's gonna put a hit on this guy.

Michael Bay said he could use some flames.

He's entered the most awesome part of the Presidency, you're still the most powerful man in the world but no one cares what you do. Lame duck party time!

As amazing as this new Elmo toy is, how creepy is the man giggling and dancing behind him?

Do jazz hands and a bikini a video make? Spencer Pratt thinks so.

In 2023 we'll hopefully be celebrating the 25th anniversy of "...Baby One More Time" by performing in flying saucers on Mars.

Heavy Metal isn't the only music with big balls.

Berries and Cream do weird things to a man.

Because playing Guitar Hero was still a little too close to making actual music.

Rhydian could was ashore any day now and completely destroy pop music as you know it.

Say what you will about the state of music in 2007, there is no doubt that this does not help.

Hundreds of average bands with ugly lead singers could be heard collectively saying, "why didn't we think of that?”

Even Al Gore would approve this use of fossil fuels.

Is Marie Osmond "dancing with an eating disorder" again? Or did all of the bright lights and Tom Bergeron's voice finally become too nauseating?

When she's not dancing like a fool, and rubbing it in that her girlfriend is hotter than yours, apparently Ellen is crying and telling people animals have "feelings".

Michael Jackson, Rick James, Prince, Stevie Wonder, and Rod Stewart impersonators were pulled from Hollywood Blvd. to perform on Jimmy Kimmel.