This will surely not get a girl pregnant. Nor will it get you a girlfriend, laid, or anything else you can possibly want.

This is kind of gross, but mostly awesome. Somebody invented a chicken plucker and decided to gross everybody out by putting it in action and posting a video on the internet. Everybody's a winner.

You have to hand it to CBS for really editing this in a way that generates the LOLs.

It's amazing that an animated show, like 'Family Guy,' is able to include so many incredible musical numbers. Here are ten of the funniest.

It's like Michael Jackson's was reincarnated into a chubby kid who can't sing. How adorable.

So gross it's awesome! Rotting pumpkin timelapse!

If you're going to scare somebody, you might as well do it while wearing the cheesiest costume imaginable.

The Nintendo Wii has been out for how long now? Haven't we learned that if you're old and have a camera pointed at you, you should probably not being playing with the Wii? In these circumstances, you can never win.

If you have big boobs, you might need to put something between them that gives them support. It's a great, totally sexy idea! Not really!

It's a sad day for everybody.

So you tell me. Does it look like Joe beat the crap out of Brody Jenner's girlfriend that one night at the club? Also, why does security footage always suck?

It's a little weird that pastel horses would want to put a ring on it, but whatevs.

If you're going to poke your girlfriend, it better be worth it for her. This isn't one of those times.

If your baby is already dancing to Beyonce you've already succeeded as a parent.

Watching random people get hurt to touching music really makes our day. It's the perfect combination, like peanut butter and chocolate.

Don't worry, I don't think anybody's talking to these uglies. Except that hot blonde. It's okay to talk to her.

It's an epic battle of two eternal foes.

It's funny how certain athletes dominate in every aspect of their sport...except good sportsmanship. Check out this collection of death threats, sucker punches, and riots, to see for yourself.

Of course, by "jolliest" we mean "fattest." Or "hilarious." They are so intertwined it really doesn't matter.

If you don't believe us, check out this video. It'd be cruel, if the woman involved didn't look like she was laughing as hard as everyone else.