This purse says "I am strong and independent, back off". Or, "I am a terrorist, detain me without question for many years at a time."

Maybe I don't want to die... I am just going to call this number here and maybe someone will tell me how important and loved I am… oh… well…never mind.

There are no words to describe this beauty. It's like looking into the sun and hearing the words, "My dad never took me fishing when I was a boy, this will teach him".

Aww look a baby puffy fish! Or… Jenna Jameson!

No Michael, we didn't come to see you. We are here for your delicious breads and pastries. Duh…

You best not step to me bleatch, I ain't gonna play.

A motorcycle made of polished wood. It's pretty cool if you are into wood… and shiz.

"Trust me, this works every time. Usually they continue to cry for a while, but after about 30 seconds they are fast asleep… for a while."

"Yo April! Splinter just escaped from… screw it. Who the hell shaved me like a dumb ass turtle? … and paint? Seriously?"

"Man kid, your face looks so funny, I bet your mom is ugly as hell. I can hear my eyes blinking and I am friggin hungry. Give me that damned cake!"

MC Hammer's career could be revitalized if he teams up with Andrew Meyer and his line of genius "Don't Tase Me Bro!"

"Ma'm are you aware that your crotch is starring at me? And why do the curtains not match the carpet?"

Son where's your ice cream? "Well Louis C.K. stole it, ran away, and then...oh you'll never believe me..." I don't even believe the part about you knowing Louis C.K.

"I love her so much, and I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve." Barf! Nothing says "Take me back." like a tattoo of your ex's titties. Classy man.

Bush is literally a butt hole, or to be more precise… many butt holes. Check out this pic of the President made of many tiny little stinkers. Did he just wink at me?

"I have such a busy day ahead of me, I have to get these groceries home before they thaw out"

Mr. Artiste could have made me anything in the world and he chooses to make me a bald, naked, fat man.

'Follow me, everything is alright, I'll be the one to rape you tonight, And if you want to leave, I can guarantee, You won't leave very easily"

Hello and welcome to whoose boobs, the only on-line game hosted by me; internet sensation Tay Zon Boobs!

ROBO-BABY MAKES ME SCARED! COMPUTERUS IS SHUTTING DOWN!