Britney may have had an "episode" last night but Hillary Clinton isn't feeling too good either after millions of dollars and being nice to Bill only gave her 3rd place.

This proves once and for all that Cartman is funnier than Dennis Miller. Remember when he made Monday Night Football suck?

This is a fun and exciting lamp that you can place on your night stand and read late at night. Now, if only you could read…

Can you imagine waking up in the middle of the night, only to find this creature rummaging through your trash bin? Ewww!

A man went to this week's monday night football game with some foam, a tongue, and a plan. Well played.

Not seeing your reflection in a mirror is like being transported immediately into a dumb M. Night Shyamalan plot.

In theaters 11-21-07. "August Rush" tells the story of a charismatic young Irish guitarist (Jonathan Rhys Meyers) and a sheltered young cellist (Keri Russell) who have a chance encounter one magical night above New York's Washington Square, but are soon torn apart, leaving in their wake an infant, August Rush, orphaned by circumstance. Now performing on the streets of New York and cared for by a mysterious stranger (Robin Williams), August (Freddie Highmore) uses his remarkable musical talent to seek the parents from whom he was separated at birth.

Someone build these two bastards from the ground up out of legos and lonely Sunday nights. Pretty impressive if you ask us, but you didn’t… so we will shut up.

In theaters 10-12-07. Two brothers on opposite sides of the law. Beyond their differences lies loyalty.

In theaters 10-19-07. For 30 days every winter, the isolated town of Barrow, Alaska is plunged into a state of complete darkness. This winter, a mysterious group of strangers appear: bloodthirsty vampires, ready to take advantage of the uninterrupted darkness to feed on the residents remaining in town.

Barry Bonds passed Hank Aaron last night. There is still no evidence that this should raise suspicion.

Paris went to a Playboy party last night dressed like Paris. Jail time can't keep a good slut down.

In this episode of Celebrity Slutsicles – sung to Grease’s "Summer Nights" – Lindsay Lohan is in rehab and the rest of the Sluts come to get her out.

Gamers play all night!

This lunatic weirdo works the night shift at a piñata factory, and decided to have his way with one of the candy-filled effigies. Only problem was, there was a security camera on!

The Grindhouse auteur got his shrimping on at a night club when some hot-footed hussy seduced his mouth with her toes. Goddamm I'm gonna hurl.

Happy Paris was greeted by the press and her family outside Lynwood Correction Facility at her releasal Monday night.

Paris Hilton gets escorted from Lynwood Monday night – a free woman!

What happens when Britney, Lindsay and Paris get together for a night on the town? Lasers shoot out of their noonies.

Sarah Silverman gave the Hilton heiress a good grilling last night at the MTV Movie Awards... Paris was hardly spared, and her face totally shows it! God, I want to hump you, Sarah!