Want to hook up with Jesus.

It's official, Jordin Sparks has a smokin' bikini body.

You know your night is gonna be crazy, when you hook up with this chick.

It's really cool if you maintain a sense of humor.

The power of make-up.

She just needs some help releasing it.

It's pretty obvious who doesn't belong in this picture.

It's really not too difficult for her to completely distract us.

Now shut up.

Always thought she was hot; this just confirms it.

Part of us is jealous and we wish this would happen to our foot. It would be a great way to spend the afternoon.

Her butt makes us want to cry happy tears just to know something like it exists in this horrible world.

Oh, look who got a new pair of boobs! And from the looks of it they fell right out of a gumball machine and onto her chest. Now we know Amy is rich, so why does it look like she has a cheap a boob job as that girl in high school who got addicted to crack, like, ten years later?

We like it when Linday Lohan tries on shoes. And so do you.

It doesn't even make sense to hate Clooney these days because you will never topple his ability to score the greatest looking females on the planet. Just accept it and move on. We've been studying Buddhism, dudes. You can stare at Elisabetta Canalis forever if you want to. But for us, it's time to chillax. Later.

We look and look and look at this photo but we have NO idea whether or not she has gut. Are we blind? Or do we just expect our bikini guts these days to be as flat as flat can be? We're picking up a Victoria Secret catalog to find out.

Here are photos from January Jones' appearance in the latest GQ, a magazine we would have no interesting in buying if it wasn't for photos like these.

Okay, we like Lindsay Lohan again. SUE US.

We'd hit it. DON'T JUDGE US.

Here's an alleged screen shot of the Jimmy Kimmel sex tape. It's okay if you don't believe it exists, because it probably doesn't. We hope it doesn't.