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PHOTOS

Katie Holmes Turns On The Lights

Katie Holmes Turns On The Lights
Katie Holmes is simply excited because Tom Cruise isn't by her side.
8/15/2008

PHOTOS

Tom Cruise is Two Steps Above The Rest

Tom Cruise is Two Steps Above The Rest
For all you ladies with Maverick fantasies, this is why he was cast, pilots are tiny.
5/6/2008

PHOTOS

Travolta Gives Mustache Rides

Travolta Gives Mustache Rides
Now what makes people think Scientology is crazy?
4/28/2008

PHOTOS

Dude Ass Pats Giselle

Dude Ass Pats Giselle
Tom Brady is watching you young man, he's watching you like the Jets in Cover-2.
4/2/2008

PHOTOS

I Am Legend Predicts Super Bowl

I Am Legend Predicts Super Bowl
Score a little credit for Scientology and Will Smith as his film proclaimed "Giants lose to Patriots for second time this season 23 to 7." LRH lives!
1/22/2008

PHOTOS

The Real Tom Cruise

The Real Tom Cruise
Cyber skin removed, this is what Tom really looks like. No self respecting gay man should ever let himself get this fat. Queericide, it’s the only answer.
11/20/2007

PHOTOS

Uncle Tom's Toothpaste

Uncle Tom's Toothpaste
Wait a minute.. Who wants their teeth to get darker?
11/13/2007

PHOTOS

Suri Cruise - 20 Years Later

Suri Cruise - 20 Years Later
Tom Cruise and Katie "Robot" Holmes have used the power of Xenu to fast forward time to see what their beautiful baby girl will look like. My eyes… my eyes.
9/4/2007

PHOTOS

The Gays are Flaming Mad

The Gays are Flaming Mad
A world-renowned gay bar caught fire this week. In typical fashion, the gays used it as en excuse to party and freak out the squares. Tom Cruise had no comment.
8/23/2007

PHOTOS

Tom Cruise is a Dancing Machine

Tom Cruise is a Dancing Machine
Tom & Katie boogied their butts off at the Beckhams "Welcome to America" party – apparently the chicken dance makes Tom sweat!
7/25/2007

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