Mad Men star Christina Hendricks married someone this weekend. Not this guy though; he's just somebody with a cool mustache. Anyway, this picture should remind you that her new husband is probably the luckiest man alive. So is mustache man for standing next to her.

Did K-Fed eat his kids or something? Dude is fat! In his defense though, fat people are considered "healthy" in his hometown of DouchebagVille.

She has to be around 55-years-old, but Jennifer Connelly is still very much a part of our imagination as we daydream about doing it with movie stars.

This is how she's feeding that deformed stomach of hers? That thing needs to call down before it turns into a TOOOOMER.

Oksana Pochepa is the Russian pop star who's allegedly banging Mel Gibson. We salute you, Mel Gibson. Girls who don't speak English are sexy.

With the Death Star complete and Santa out of the way, nothing can stop them from destroying Alderon!

Sarah Palin's legs are so much hotter than Barack Obama's.

Here's a first look at porn star Lisa Ann. She's going to be playing Sarah Palin in the Hustler porno about the VP candidate. Schwing!

We feel so sorry for this dude who just made out with Star Jones.

The Disney circle of life has been completed as the former star returns home to ride Alice in Wonderland with her girlfriend.

The shocking thing is you don't have to feel guilty looking at her, she's actually 23 and far from starring in any actual High School Musicals.

Too soon? Come on people, the Civil War was almost 150 years ago. He's merely suggesting that he'd sacrifice another million plus soldiers to keep the South's "freedoms" intact.

Cash Warren, you sir are the captain of the douche squad, K-Fed has nothing on you, you openly mock Jessica's pregnant body while the rest of us mourn what you ruined.

Is it possible for any body part of a porn star to age naturally?

I'll be able to answer phones, get drunk, start wars, and do all the other things boy presidents do, don't worry about it.

He's swinging lefty but his Mii is a righty, a true Fore Star General.

Britney's secret to weight loss is apparently time travel which raises the very real possibility of an alternate 2003 being created where she never meets K-Fed.

It looks like her "Goldie Hawn years" will be here sooner than we expected. Time to delete Penny Lane from your 70s rock star fantasy.

He wants to be taken seriously as an actor.

According to IMDB Uma Thurman has starred in 5 films since Kill Bill but walking around in a bikini seems to be the first noteworthy achievement since Beatrix Kiddo.