Oh, look who got a new pair of boobs! And from the looks of it they fell right out of a gumball machine and onto her chest. Now we know Amy is rich, so why does it look like she has a cheap a boob job as that girl in high school who got addicted to crack, like, ten years later?

The Sacremento Kings dancers are being "disciplined" for getting drunk and taking sexy pics. And the NBA wonders why no one watches.

Just put a meat bone in her hand and Sarah Jessica Parker looks just as sexy as Dee Snider in Twisted Sister. Here she is on the set of the new Sex & The City 2, during a flashback of sorts to the 80s, when she was uglier.

Oh, little puppy! Aren't you glad you're not Paris Hilton's? Oh, yes you are! Oh yes you are!

Yeah, Bikini Girl is hottish. She'd be just plain "hot" if we never saw her on American Idol and didn't know she was so stupid.

If you're even close to hot you should do what you can to get this costume and bring it to the Harry Potter premiere this week.

This Gossip Girl surely knows what to do to be famous: show your panties. Just like Britney, Xtina, and every other slutsicle, Taylor knows how to get our attention.

Talk about chubbing up. Lay off the Doritos and pick up the crystal meth!

We're suddenly turned on by the lazy, furry cat.

If you're wondering who Leighton Meester is, this is her. TMZ is reporting she has a sex tape that's being shopped around Hollywood. And it involves her feet. Sexy!

Lindsay Lohan almost looks like a little boy. EAT A SANDWICH, GIRL!

This is sexist because it's true.

Avert your eyes!?! Get sexy with yourself!?! We can't tell what's going on here either.

You don't have to see this girl's face; it's busted. Instead, look at the ocean...the beach...that dude with the towel on his head. If you like, you can also look at Shauna's boobs.

Normally we're against breast implants. But Bikini Girl's new boobs make her face look a lot less stupid, so we approve!

Kara, why did you hide what's underneath your clothes throughout the whole season? We find you a lot less annoying and totally pointless now.

Just face it: you will never get a girl as hot as Hayden, just continue to be a big fat dork.

Oksana Pochepa is the Russian pop star who's allegedly banging Mel Gibson. We salute you, Mel Gibson. Girls who don't speak English are sexy.

Yeah, we think Barbie is a lot sexier than Mickey Mouse, too.

Rihanna's new tattoo is a message to girls EVERYWHERE. What it's saying, we have no idea.