Or at least a well staged photograph.

The Sacremento Kings dancers are being "disciplined" for getting drunk and taking sexy pics. And the NBA wonders why no one watches.

Just put a meat bone in her hand and Sarah Jessica Parker looks just as sexy as Dee Snider in Twisted Sister. Here she is on the set of the new Sex & The City 2, during a flashback of sorts to the 80s, when she was uglier.

If you're even close to hot you should do what you can to get this costume and bring it to the Harry Potter premiere this week.

We're suddenly turned on by the lazy, furry cat.

If you're wondering who Leighton Meester is, this is her. TMZ is reporting she has a sex tape that's being shopped around Hollywood. And it involves her feet. Sexy!

Avert your eyes!?! Get sexy with yourself!?! We can't tell what's going on here either.

Oh look! Our favorite non-celebrity announced she's pregnant on Twitter. Here's what her stomach is going to look like in a couple months, as imagined by our friends at Starcasm.com.

Celebrities! They're just like us - stupid sometimes! Here's a recent pic of Kim. She says she fell asleep in the sun with giant glasses on. LOLs.

Oksana Pochepa is the Russian pop star who's allegedly banging Mel Gibson. We salute you, Mel Gibson. Girls who don't speak English are sexy.

Yeah, we think Barbie is a lot sexier than Mickey Mouse, too.

That's some sexy makeup!

Nothing helps you lose weight faster than looking at pictures of celebrities in the best and worst moments.

Not the most sexy picture of Kim Kardashian, especially with all that farting going on.

Nothing turns us on more than man hands and alien face.

Don't Z-list celebrities ever get tired of showing us their panties?

The answer to "What are the troops fighting for?" is clearly, "The Freedom of the Over Privileged Upper Class Dimwit Celebrities".

The most shocking thing is not how sexy she looks at age 16, it's how shockingly 90s the photo backdrop is.

Sexual thoughts aside… what's with the blue outfit? There isn't much sexy about screwing a zip lock bag.

Britney attempts to renew her drivers license and is forced to bring Dakota along. Ugly people work at the DMV.