Today, we're all Michael Jackson. Or we mourn Michael Jackson. Ah, whatever. We're just really, really sad.

We'd love to skateboard on this if only to a rim job of the rails on a half pipe. (wait...we're trying to talk Sk8r. Did that make any sense?)

This TV anchor has the same disease that Michael Jackson "supposedly' has.

I guess these silly Asians don't know that's a word that only black people can use.

La Toya Jackson has finally obliterated any last ounce of estrogen in her body, she is now a he beast. Or, Eddie Murphy's latest girlfriend in a desperate attempt to disprove the gay tranny escapade.

Carrot Top is the physical specimen of de-evolution. Seriously? His shoulder muscles are like L brackets! He is like a walking Chuckie doll.

The Golden Snub-Nosed Monkey is surprisingly cute, despite having a Michael Jackson/Skeletor nose. Lookit the little guy!!

Britney was caught in a paparazzi mêlée on her way to the gym while she inexplicably sported a white towel wrapped on her face. Why in the world would she be wearing said towel in such a fashion? To pretend she's Santa Claus, that's why, Silly!

Paris & Nikki Hilton and Nicole Richie are seen here posing with Michael Jackson. Weirder still is the old man next to them with the oxygen machine.

This reminds me of that Janet Jackson 'Rolling Stone' cover. Only a lot more wholesome!