This reeks of a badly written stop animation movie. Somewhere Danny Elfman is composing the music for this girls' soundtrack.

For those tough days shopping at Wal Mart. Just watch those urchin shoppers flee!

Woody Allen has finally opened his own school for girls… lucky bastards.

A new LG Comic! Halloween is just an excuse for fat girls to eat themselves into a coma…

There is way too much sexy here for words, but let us start with 'Rough".

Ms. Olsen #1 looks better here than she does during any other given day. The undead look works for you, live it.

"Yeah, I could be sending this money to the troops for body armor, but I REALLY need this iPhone."

You know, only fat and unattractive people feel this way.

This is why swimming with dolphins is never a good idea. Just what the hell are you supposed to do when you find out your idiot wife signed you up for the wrong "experience"?

Cavemen everywhere will find this attractive, wood laid GPS, the perfect addition when your hunting for women. Or, when you are Corey Feldman.

"Trust me, this works every time. Usually they continue to cry for a while, but after about 30 seconds they are fast asleep… for a while."

Weather men are often overlooked as the newsworthy sex gods they are. That being said, we feel sorry for Pennsylvania. According to jumbo here they are in for a sticky weekend.

Heidi Montag is far from pretty and appears to have no arm in this picture. We personally hope Harrison Ford finds her and beats her down for killing his wife. Oh, and for making that face too.

Britney Spears attempts to sell greedy consumers more useless crap, this time taking the form of her own perfume. We don't plan on speaking for everyone, but what woman wants to smell like Kevin Federline's crotch and Papst Blue Ribbon?

A man sized cell phone fell from the fumbling hands of a giant, crushing a car and killing two people. Ok truth time.. It's just a PR stunt for Motorola's new Razr 2.

We applaud a woman who goes outside with no make up, but we would applaud you more if you brought along some sort of mask, or peper spray for our eyes.

Yeah, we make fun of her all the time for looking like a potato and we know its not her fault. However, when you bleach your hair blond you are just asking for it.

Diana Ross thought that no one would recognize her without makeup. Unfortunately an old woman died of a heart attack when she mistook Mrs. Ross for Death.

Wow you guys, only in our wildest dreams could we afford such a nice dress and beautiful hair extensions. Having such a dress allows for quick toilet use, sans the hassle of cleanup.

Christina Ricci proves that imitation is the highest form of flattery. Sadly, the cat pulls the look off with more flair... B for effort.