With a real strict door policy.

How was your weekend?

When we want to be a douchebag, we go to a pool party and sit like this, too.

Here's Bono totally not cheating on his wife with two 19-year-old hotties.

She's wearing a scarf with donkeys on it. A Donkey is a sign of the Democratic Party. We really can't be witty about something like this.

What you're seeing here is the dreaded Child Monster of the Sea trying to choke and kill the singer Seal.

Blake Lively in a bikini is proof positive that Gossip Girl needs to be set somewhere tropical if we're ever going to watch. Oh, and Hi Maria Menounos!

Elizabeth Hasselbeck wants to change the party's symbol from the elephant to My Little Pony.

Her name is Sarah Lawson, which sounds like "Sarah's awesome", and that is exactly what George's friends say when she does this at a party.

There was what, one week to enjoy the new ginormous mommy boobs? Now they look like they are housing a Quato.

Clinton is using this picture of Obama embracing another religion. She is hoping everyone thinks that religion equals terrorist. Sadly they are registred in the other party Hil!

Seriously nerds, thats the monster you've all been waiting for? You've been JJ'd.

Madonna has an UGLY daughter. Don't care how young she is, kabbalah needs to teach the wonders of a tweezer and lip bleach.

The great part about this costume is the hours after the party when you try and find her ac/dc input.

A world-renowned gay bar caught fire this week. In typical fashion, the gays used it as en excuse to party and freak out the squares. Tom Cruise had no comment.

Paris went to a Playboy party last night dressed like Paris. Jail time can't keep a good slut down.

Tom & Katie boogied their butts off at the Beckhams "Welcome to America" party – apparently the chicken dance makes Tom sweat!

When Lindsay Lohan partied at PURE this past weekend, backers for her upcoming movie with Shirley Mclaine decided she was too volatile, and pulled the plug on the film.

He's perfect for Christmas, Hanukkah, birthdays and swinger parties!

He was shot in the back of the head. What a shame. Now the Sesame Street neighborhood Girl Scouts will never make enough money for their camping trip.