This is a woman who is clearly familiar with double-stick tape. But maybe she needed to air them out?

Looks like the night is over for her.

What is she, like, 55-years-old now? Jennifer Aniston is still banging 35 years after Friends. This is a photo from her appearance this month in Elle Magazine.

Doesn't he look like that old chick from Driving Miss Daisy? Yes he does!

She has to be around 55-years-old, but Jennifer Connelly is still very much a part of our imagination as we daydream about doing it with movie stars.

But really, who cares? Older chicks are awesome and if you don't realize that you're probably and idiot anyway.

She's Brazilian, she's tabloid famous and what you really want to know, her butt measures 46 inches all the way around. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it if that's at all possible given the size constraints.

If you're looking for an older lady, here is your best bet.

Donald Trump just pardoned Miss California for being a homophobe and appearing nude in photos. We don't care whether she's Satan or Charles Manson, just keep on taking photos like these.

Is Lindsay Lohan attractive anymore? It looks like the skin is melting off her body and she has the ass of an old man. And what's with her Calvin impression? It's just kinda gross.

Hugh Hefner's former fake girlfriend Bridget still looks pretty good for being almost 50-years-old. Much love.

This is how classy we are when we pick up chicks.

The editor of this newspaper has obviously never delivered a pizza to a 40-year-old woman's door and then proceeded to have sex with her.

When you reach a certain age, things start falling apart. Jenny, we're going to miss you.

Paris kept her promises and immediately opened a shelter for women when she was released from jail. Here you can see her passing out soup to the needy. What a heart of gold!

This 27-year-old Obama speech writer (left) is in a little trouble for grabbing fake Hillary Clinton's fake boob. We'd understand if he was grabbing Palin's breasteses, cause she's hot, but whatevs. If he likes man-boobs that's his deal.

"Interesting" is the only way we could describe what you're looking at here. We don't want to offend the old lady.

Kim Kardashin is Wonder Woman for Halloween, and her butt dressed up as Frankenstein.

Here's Bono totally not cheating on his wife with two 19-year-old hotties.

We don't care that she's a hundred years old or banged Michael Bolton. Nicolette is bangin'.