Apparently, comparing Michael Bay to Hitler didn't exactly please Steven Spielberg and that's why she isn't in the new movie. As always, I am 100% Team Spielberg.

100% more Annoying or a 100% Fierce? We'd like to punch her in the face either way - in a total non-wife-beat-y sort of way!

Just kidding. We don't know if Lohan does meth, she probably doesn't. But we certainly know she has a meth face, which is the WORST kind of face if you're going to have any face at all.

But she wants to spit in your face first.

Yes, she's one of our favorites. And yes, we don't know who that dude is standing next to her but we want to punch him in the face and steal Sophia away.

Usually, Audrina Partridge looks dumb in the face. But not here. She just looks totally hot, and I as I type this message here with one hand, I can't help but notice that I am going to explode soon.

...or she wants to lick Quentin Tarantino's face. Which is it?

Today, we're all Michael Jackson. Or we mourn Michael Jackson. Ah, whatever. We're just really, really sad.

It's going to take a lot more than flowers to get in her pants, buddy. Start with trying to replace your face.

This is the extent of Bret Michael's injuries after a prop kicked his ass at the Tony's last week.

You don't have to see this girl's face; it's busted. Instead, look at the ocean...the beach...that dude with the towel on his head. If you like, you can also look at Shauna's boobs.

Normally we're against breast implants. But Bikini Girl's new boobs make her face look a lot less stupid, so we approve!

Just face it: you will never get a girl as hot as Hayden, just continue to be a big fat dork.

We'd love to skateboard on this if only to a rim job of the rails on a half pipe. (wait...we're trying to talk Sk8r. Did that make any sense?)

Rupert Everett allegedly got a face lift. Or two or five of them.

Oh, how can you accuse a face like that of committing genocide?

Check out the new Michael Phelps Garbage Fail Kid. Collect all the new Garbage Fail Kids and post them on your blog! Come back for more week after week!

Say hello to Mischa Methface!!! Just wow.

Look very closely...Paris Hilton is retarded.

It seems like all the weight just goes to her boobs. And her face. And arms. Ass. Legs. Stomach. Jesus H. Christ, this girl's a hot mess.