This is a woman who is clearly familiar with double-stick tape. But maybe she needed to air them out?

Looks like the night is over for her.

Mad Men star Christina Hendricks married someone this weekend. Not this guy though; he's just somebody with a cool mustache. Anyway, this picture should remind you that her new husband is probably the luckiest man alive. So is mustache man for standing next to her.

Guys, don't be ashamed to buy the latest edition of Shape magazine. It's much easier to buy than Hustler.

Kanye, just let the man die in peace. Jeez.

After a nice hard day of work, nothing feels better than squeezing your way into a hot tub with another person. This is a lie.

We have no idea why she's famous other than the fact that when you look at her it's like you're seeing an angel. An angel with a hot ass and really nice boobs.

You mean he didn't bang Alba? That's the only reason to be happy these days.

It's going to take a lot more than flowers to get in her pants, buddy. Start with trying to replace your face.

She's Brazilian, she's tabloid famous and what you really want to know, her butt measures 46 inches all the way around. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it if that's at all possible given the size constraints.

Adam Lambert uses more coverup than every tranny on the earth combined.

If you have to wear a bathing suit this summer, make sure you have boobs.

Donald Trump just pardoned Miss California for being a homophobe and appearing nude in photos. We don't care whether she's Satan or Charles Manson, just keep on taking photos like these.

Yeah, we don't know what's going on either.

Is Lindsay Lohan attractive anymore? It looks like the skin is melting off her body and she has the ass of an old man. And what's with her Calvin impression? It's just kinda gross.

Yeah, we think Barbie is a lot sexier than Mickey Mouse, too.

Oh Katy, you're just forcing us to want you really, really bad.

This is how classy we are when we pick up chicks.

We never thought we'd see anything more perverted than a Japanese businessman, but here we are!

The editor of this newspaper has obviously never delivered a pizza to a 40-year-old woman's door and then proceeded to have sex with her.