Want to hook up with Jesus.

You know your night is gonna be crazy, when you hook up with this chick.

The power of make-up.

Now shut up.

Just kidding. We don't know if Lohan does meth, she probably doesn't. But we certainly know she has a meth face, which is the WORST kind of face if you're going to have any face at all.

It doesn't even make sense to hate Clooney these days because you will never topple his ability to score the greatest looking females on the planet. Just accept it and move on. We've been studying Buddhism, dudes. You can stare at Elisabetta Canalis forever if you want to. But for us, it's time to chillax. Later.

We look and look and look at this photo but we have NO idea whether or not she has gut. Are we blind? Or do we just expect our bikini guts these days to be as flat as flat can be? We're picking up a Victoria Secret catalog to find out.

Okay, we like Lindsay Lohan again. SUE US.

This kid is going to grow up to be such a baller.

This kid is totally luckly.

If you're going to show up at the Emmy's pregnant, I guess you might as well show up REALLY pregnant and just freak everybody out.

Christina: You have boobs. Show them.

Halle Berry denied she was pregnant again on the Jay Leno Show last night, putting to rest the rumors that her boobs were just big because she's having a kid. No, they're just naturally awesome like that.

The more she shows us her bubbly boobies.

Justin Timberlake has a nice rack. I bet his ass is pretty awesome, too.

We kid about Lohan all the time, but never about her sideboob. We always welcome it.

Did K-Fed eat his kids or something? Dude is fat! In his defense though, fat people are considered "healthy" in his hometown of DouchebagVille.

Talk about chubbing up. Lay off the Doritos and pick up the crystal meth!

Just kidding, fatso, she wants to give this guy a massage.

This is Ryan Seacrest as a kid, and as you can see, he still looks really gay.