We're not going to lie: this totally made us want to run to the bathroom, turn off the lights and hope to God nobody hears us.

But lay off the clown makeup, girly. Batman isn't out to get you.

After a nice hard day of work, nothing feels better than squeezing your way into a hot tub with another person. This is a lie.

Talk about chubbing up. Lay off the Doritos and pick up the crystal meth!

Lay off the cheesburgers, Jason Biggs. Just because you're not working lately doesn't give you a license to eat every studio head that doesn't put you in a movie.

We get jealous every time we see Heidi and Spencer frolicking in the park. Okay, we lie.

There is only one thing worse than fat people close up shots. Fat people distant shots.

Cavemen everywhere will find this attractive, wood laid GPS, the perfect addition when your hunting for women. Or, when you are Corey Feldman.

Ok, so that was a lie. This is a scene from Rosie's character in the new season of Nip Tuck. However… we doubt that's actual make up. Its' the herpes!

This is proof that Ray Romano's show was a lie. Everybody does not love you and will proclaim that proudly with a tramp stamp.

An ex-Hollywood publicist leaked out news that Jake Gyllenhaal is gay and has been with a boyfriend for years. Wait, the guy from Brokeback Mountain? You lie!

Siegfried and Roy dropped a huge truth bomb when they told a German newspaper, they were gay. Seriously? You lie…

Obviously this is a novelty item, because the idea is that someone would walk into your bedroom and think, at first, that you and your heterosexual partner were lying there naked. ...Or it just might be for fat people that don't want to look gross when they're naked. Yeah.

Jenna Jameson and Paris Hilton are pegged to host a new reality TV series that basically gets virgins laid. It's being made by the same guy that released the Paris Hilton sex tape, so you know it's gonna be classy.

This Texas birth record seems to prove that Beyonce Giselle Knowles was born in 1974, making her 32, not 25 like she claims.

With a clever tattoo like that, it's a wonder this guy never gets laid.

Seriously, California is having forest fire problems! Lay off the beans, buddy! This means YOU!