Did K-Fed eat his kids or something? Dude is fat! In his defense though, fat people are considered "healthy" in his hometown of DouchebagVille.

This is how she's feeding that deformed stomach of hers? That thing needs to call down before it turns into a TOOOOMER.

Cash Warren, you sir are the captain of the douche squad, K-Fed has nothing on you, you openly mock Jessica's pregnant body while the rest of us mourn what you ruined.

His cellmate was heard whispering in his ear, "I'm gonna do to you, what you did to rap music".

Britney's secret to weight loss is apparently time travel which raises the very real possibility of an alternate 2003 being created where she never meets K-Fed.

Cats with two heads mean twice the feeding times, but double the cuddle. Unless of course it’s a pissy ass cat… then its twice the eye scratching.

Who can piss the farthest? Question, is UPS saying Fed Ex is reliant on them or is Fed Ex saying UPS has to ship their tricks with them? You both lose.

"K-Fed" is just so cool. It takes a whole new level of pure awesomeness to bring back late 90's gang signs. Their kids are going to be so real, ya'll.

Paris Hilton has begun her promised change for the better. Here she is holding a baby without dropping it or feeding it Frosted Cocaine Flakes.

"Urhines Kendall Icy Eight Special K" is the actual name given to this very lucky newborn. The hospital birth announcement page can be viewed at: http://www.newbabynews.net/hospitals/stf33/public/stf33birthannouncement.pl?babyID=h33-440

Britney's boobs appear deflated and gross – probably from all that breast-feeding!

Britney Spears' website is giving fans the chance to name her upcoming album, in exchange for insight into her sick, retarded sense of humor.

Plz K thx

We're proposing Amy Winehouse use the portrait of her from PrettyOnTheOutside.com as the cover of her new album! True inspiration!

For some god-awful reason, K-Mart sells bacon. Maybe because they have to do SOMETHING with all the extra back-fat from the morbidly obese pigs they employ.

Oh no – someone fed Spot some PuppyCrack!

I still can't get over how adorable this is – he just looks so NATURAL in that uniform!

It's not her fatness that scares me, surprisingly.

The cake got 5 full pages, but the rest of the wedding album featured the bride and groom: a tiny Japanese immigrant woman and her white, 350-lb. programmer husband.

Short text$3,625 a month for rent? Jeez, K-dawg, where were you staying?