We're not sure what these Rolling Stone magazines photos of a couple Gossip Girls is trying to infer here...they like licking ice cream? Candy? They like things in their mouths!?! What? We totally don't get this.

We also knew that Hannah Montana was sexuality America with her little song and dance routine. So wrong.

Shortly after this picture was taken, John McCain crapped his pants.

There's a Ross and Rachel joke here somewhere but it's best not to think too much about John Mayer banging Jennifer Aniston.

And that's not even why John Mayer dumped it her, it gets worse apparently.

John Rambo kills everyone and has sex with no one.

Candy Flavored sex toys are nothing new, but this is the first time you can stick candy corn up your corn hole.

John Travolta is blessed by the power of Xenu. His magical thetans can transform him from "G.I Jane" to "Movie Flop" instantly.

Miss Jessica was seen partying like a single gal (John Mayer dumped her!) at PURE nightclub in Vegas recently. When's she selling a blow-up doll of herself?

I once overdosed on sexy. But then John Travolta brought me back by stabbing my chest with a needle. I'm cool now.

Jared Leto got fat for his role as John Lennon's killer. Then he got skinny for his roll as rock music killer. Because he's a douche.

These candy sperms are so delicious, she'll ALWAYS swallow!

We'd scream too if we thought John Travolta from Battlefield Earth was holding us.

Sure, let's just stick our hand in our babies ass and pull out a candy bar.