Want to hook up with Jesus.

It seems like all the weight just goes to her boobs. And her face. And arms. Ass. Legs. Stomach. Jesus H. Christ, this girl's a hot mess.

This is how Jesus really lived his life, as a tricky illusionist.

Jesus hated your baseball team and by rooting for them you offended his holiness. Plus he was betting on the other guys.

Bush once said he spoke to god and why wouldn’t he, he is Jesus after all. NOW PASS THAT BREAD!

This picture was drawn with one continuous line. Yeah, you're jealous.

"3 days my ass, you get back here you sneaky devil! Set your Proton Packs to resurrection!"

Jesus could walk on water, so what? We have yet to see a picture of Jesus performing any miracles while rocking a cool pair of board shorts.

Demi Moore is in her 40's and she still looks 25! She obviously drinks unborn children out of the Cup Of Christ. She has chosen Wisely!

Fergie looks like the poster child for the Theory of Evolution. Who walks like this and what's with those curlers? Jesus!

Thank God this guy took the time to make his custom rims beautiful. Now that's some fine airbrushing!

Rumor has it that she has a deal with a paparazzi company, and she's doing this sh!t for ca$h. Figures.

Weee-ooooo, weee-ooooo... looks like Jesus called the Fashion Police!

Jesus, girl, leave SOMETHING to the imagination.

Look deep into this dog's butt and see a vision of Jesus. Then puke.

Next week we'll be brought to you by the letter H!

Jesus is such a good sport.

I don't know why Jesus say these types of things, but it's beginning to upset the children.

Jesus freakin' Cripes, woman, now even your boobs look messed up? Get it together already, Brit!!

Damn! You mean our Passion of the Christ DVD isn't playable in this thing?