Maybe I don't want to die... I am just going to call this number here and maybe someone will tell me how important and loved I am… oh… well…never mind.

A stainless steal temple is important for all true believers. Nothing says "God loves you", like an expensive temple built in a village in which most the people starve to death.

What happened Jennifer? You best pass that ass or we're going to change your name to Jennifer Love-Chewitt.

Brian Austin Green had his crotch fondled by Megan Fox. Looks like she had a whole other kind of turkey in her mouth this weekend.

Cats with two heads mean twice the feeding times, but double the cuddle. Unless of course it’s a pissy ass cat… then its twice the eye scratching.

We here at LG love something's and sticks. When we heard they were combining them, we jumped on the bandwagon.

Ok, all jokes aside… who wants to stick it in?

This is the highest pinnacle of parenting possible. Any of you Nancy boys who "love" and "care" for your child are just a bunch of tools.

The thought of eating an entire black woman is something that only Kanye West could enjoy. Fatties however, love the idea that she is made of cake.

These poor women were kicked out of Disneyland after innocently expressing their love of Minnie Mouse… and titties. No harm no foul!

Sienna Miller is pissed about nudie pics leaking from the set of Hippie Hippie Shake. In fairness the boobs and "hippie garden" will be covered during a CGI drug trip.

Jennifer Lopez continues to deny accusations that she is pregnant, furthering our thoughts that she is just getting really fat.

Courtney Love needs to shave or get some Nads. Her face looks like that section of skin above a mans buttcrack.

Courtney Love is currently preparing for a zombie death match with Kurt over how she has ruined Nirvana's legacy one paycheck at a time.

This is proof that Ray Romano's show was a lie. Everybody does not love you and will proclaim that proudly with a tramp stamp.

She's a one-eyed, one-horned, really fat celebrity who might eat you. There comes a time when you should no longer be in love with your body. That time is now, Beth.

Jennifer Lopez is so money, that she doesn’t even use regular sunglasses. They serve only one purpose, to remind you why you hate her.

What made Jennifer Lopez decide that this was the best outfit to showcase at the launch of her new clothing line? She looks like a fruit rollup or a tall oompa loompa.

The pure love, that exudes from Michael Stipe's eyes, screams "forever". Everybody hurts… but not anymore.

So this is what those orcs from Lord of The Rings do in their spare time. That’s a lot of love to take in. If you look close, you can see one of their "One Rings" Eww!