Just yesterday some fat dude tried to run off with Hilary Duff as she was swimming the ocean. Luckily, he later realized she wasn't a hamburger.

Hey, you wanna now what else isn't real on The Hills? Audrina's boobs!

Wanna know what else is probably fake on The Hills? Audrina's boobs, and that's just fine with us.

Paris Hilton is modeling for Fila, their first major endorsement since Grant Hill in 1995. She looks as confused as us.

This ad is designed to alert people to the inhumane practice of whale hunting… but now I want a hamburger.

Marcus and Julian spent the weekends performing awkwardly gay tricks for the crowds. One day, Julian saw his reflection in a mirror, mid flip, it was all down hill from there.

Heidi Montag took the form of a great white shark and nearly swallowed her Hills arch enemy LC. Unfortunately, neither was injured.

Compton High's remake of West Side Story, complete with an inter-district theater student exchange. Can you guess who is visiting from Beverly Hills High?

Lauryn Hill has apparently become crazier by the day. What better way to celebrate freedom from the doldrums of society than hiring Lauryn the Clown for your special event!

Desperate Housewife Nicolette Sheridan was out and about in Beverly Hills recently... and apparently it was a tit nipply out! Ha!

After corrective plastic surgery, Tara's abs are looking less like Sloppy Joe's and more like a stomach.