You know your night is gonna be crazy, when you hook up with this chick.

It doesn't even make sense to hate Clooney these days because you will never topple his ability to score the greatest looking females on the planet. Just accept it and move on. We've been studying Buddhism, dudes. You can stare at Elisabetta Canalis forever if you want to. But for us, it's time to chillax. Later.

And if you're nice she might even show you that she's wearing no panties.

She's still hot with or without clothes.

We just found the perfect pillow.

If you interrupt Barack during a session of congress he will slice off your hand.

Even though we would never be caught dead reading GQ Magazine (for fear that it will make us start dressing better!). But if they continue to populate that magazine with pictures like this, we'll get a lifetime subscription.

This little iPhone app will convert your texts into supper annoying Kanye texts.

A review of "Enemy of the State" that is just about the best thing ever.

After a nice hard day of work, nothing feels better than squeezing your way into a hot tub with another person. This is a lie.

Justin Timberlake has a nice rack. I bet his ass is pretty awesome, too.

Oh, Mr. Cameron. You didn't just rip off Delgo, did you? (Psst! That's awesome! We secretly love that movie!"

Don't cry, Emo Boy. You will fail at something else some day.

I won't let myself fall asleep these days because I'm worried I'll have nightmares about this"

Her hips will check you and throw you to the ground.

This will surely anger PETA. Which we fully support.

Somebody please warn Madonna that veins eventually explode after taking too many steroids. And her penis will shrink.

Perez Hitlon got his ass beat by one of Will.i.Am's (ANNOYING NAME, DUDE!) people at the MuchMusic Awards this past weekend. Later The Mighty Gay One made a video about what happened, which is where this picture came from. It's fun to see this dude cry, right?

Is Paris Hilton ever going to get fat and sloppy? Maybe she's not even human, and will forever stay young and hot and kind of stupid. We hope. Those are amazing traits.

It's good to know that even though she's been out of the limelight, Jessica Simpson still has her boobs. That just lets us know the world doing alright.