Princess Leia Pillow Fight
No, you're not seeing things. Those are a bunch of Princess Leias being hot and awesome and hitting each other with pillows.
Heidi and Spencer Are Freedom
The answer to "What are the troops fighting for?" is clearly, "The Freedom of the Over Privileged Upper Class Dimwit Celebrities".
Glow in the dark pussy cats
Scientists in South Korea have so much free time, they have managed to clone glow in the dark cats. Now they can fight off the flying monkeys from N. Korea.
A Cat Burrito Please
Yes I would like two Mexican pizzas, a large Coke and one Cat Meat Burrito. I prefer them slightly charred with just a hint of fight left in them. I SHALL DEVOUR!
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