And by "assets", of course, we mean the things that make Susan Sarandon less annoying as an actress, activist and overall human being. Here's a recent photo of her at the SAG awards, along with her daughter Eva Amurii.

Heath Ledger is dead, Jude's acting career is dead, and he just happens to wear green and purple weeks before the premiere? Why so tasteless?

Although it's safe to say pretty much every dude with a Sports Illustrated subscription has "loved" Eva at some point.

Eva Longoria and Posh have learned that athletes don't make the best lovers anymore, nerds do!

Brian Austin Green had his crotch fondled by Megan Fox. Looks like she had a whole other kind of turkey in her mouth this weekend.

The environment needs saving and that lazy Captain Planet isn't doing crap about it! So here come the MIT green cars… aww how cute.

This is a bad ass costume. We would even consider this "Super Green"!

Ecologists' and green enthusiasts have developed a earth friendly habitat that hangs softly from the trees, connecting you to nature. You know what else hangs? Dez Nuts.

Eva Longoria spent the weekend on the beach. In typical, classy lady fashion, she showed the world her butt crack on numerous occasions.

Exclusive in Japan! Apparently cheese-stuffed crust pizza is for amateurs! This pizza features hot dog roll crust, sausage patties, Canadian bacon, mushrooms, and what looks like green beans! Yummerz!!

A recent stint at a celebrity volleyball game revealed the Desperate Housewife's chalupa. And there's a mole on it.

Eva Cavalli, sister of designer Roberto Cavalli, was working the runway when she had a fashion disaster! Good thing you were wearing knickers, Eva!

Wow she's ugly. Hahahaha.

She not exactly restrained, but her body is totally of the chain! Hey-o!

At one time, Paris used a fake Ohio ID. The weirdest part? It lists her eyes as green, even though she has naturally brown eyes and wears blue contacts!

Still-skinny Mary-Kate Olsen looked stunning (as in, we're still stunned by this look) when she walked the red carpet wearing Kelly green, a dead raccoon, and a chestplate.