He truly understands what courtside seats are all about.

Al Sharpton is somewhere flipping out while David Duke is dancing. RACISM!

This one time at band camp, there was like sex everywhere. The G note was doing the A from behind. And the B-flat was blowing C.

Tyra Banks has gone crazy. Either she has hired David LaChapelle for her new photo shoot or she is trying to bring back Alien Nation, the TV show.

It seems all that David Beckham can do on the field is injure himself. Again, he will be out for another 6 weeks due to a torn ligament. Robot Posh is pissed.

Hilary Duff is a true performer. At the end of her last concert, her loins exploded and a unicorn, magic hat and David the Gnome spilled forth.

Pam Anderson and David Spade were caught playing "slutty Hooters girl and handsy buffalo wings lover" recently, and now I'm totally freaked out. Gross.

He was shot in the back of the head. What a shame. Now the Sesame Street neighborhood Girl Scouts will never make enough money for their camping trip.

The wax figures of Victoria Adams and David Beckham were recently draped in American flags to celebrate their recent move to the US. Yay, more big-tittied tarts and their super-studly metrosexual man=meat in L.A.!

Grow your own metrosexual with the NEW Chia Beckham!