Did K-Fed eat his kids or something? Dude is fat! In his defense though, fat people are considered "healthy" in his hometown of DouchebagVille.

This is how she's feeding that deformed stomach of hers? That thing needs to call down before it turns into a TOOOOMER.

Cash Warren, you sir are the captain of the douche squad, K-Fed has nothing on you, you openly mock Jessica's pregnant body while the rest of us mourn what you ruined.

Britney's secret to weight loss is apparently time travel which raises the very real possibility of an alternate 2003 being created where she never meets K-Fed.

Cats with two heads mean twice the feeding times, but double the cuddle. Unless of course it’s a pissy ass cat… then its twice the eye scratching.

Who can piss the farthest? Question, is UPS saying Fed Ex is reliant on them or is Fed Ex saying UPS has to ship their tricks with them? You both lose.

In Russia, they love Vodka so much, that during times of peace, all guards carry AK-47'S made of Vodka Bottles. Drink up you commie bastards!

"K-Fed" is just so cool. It takes a whole new level of pure awesomeness to bring back late 90's gang signs. Their kids are going to be so real, ya'll.

Christina Aguilera is pregnant, as well all know and her boobs are getting bigger by the day! Waldo now thinks they are a good place to hide.

Paris Hilton has begun her promised change for the better. Here she is holding a baby without dropping it or feeding it Frosted Cocaine Flakes.

Britney's boobs appear deflated and gross – probably from all that breast-feeding!

Creed front-douche Scott Stapp got arrested (again) when he came home high and threw an Orangina bottle at his wife. He also owns a lot of guns.

Oh no – someone fed Spot some PuppyCrack!

I still can't get over how adorable this is – he just looks so NATURAL in that uniform!

All I can say is, I feel bad for that bottle of Coke.

Okay it's just a puppy. But he's napping on a water bottle and it's so freakin' cute I just crapped my pants.

Short text$3,625 a month for rent? Jeez, K-dawg, where were you staying?

This is how we like to open our champagne bottles. Happy New Year.