Or at least a well staged photograph.

You know your night is gonna be crazy, when you hook up with this chick.

Well, that's what we've gathered from this sign at least.

We're not going to lie: this totally made us want to run to the bathroom, turn off the lights and hope to God nobody hears us.

If you're going to show up at the Emmy's pregnant, I guess you might as well show up REALLY pregnant and just freak everybody out.

If you interrupt Barack during a session of congress he will slice off your hand.

Even though we would never be caught dead reading GQ Magazine (for fear that it will make us start dressing better!). But if they continue to populate that magazine with pictures like this, we'll get a lifetime subscription.

But lay off the clown makeup, girly. Batman isn't out to get you.

A review of "Enemy of the State" that is just about the best thing ever.

After a nice hard day of work, nothing feels better than squeezing your way into a hot tub with another person. This is a lie.

Thank God for the internet. Thank God for TwitPic. If @kimkardashian didn't love to get almost naked so much these things would just be too boring for us. Here's Kim showing off her body as she gets it ready for a Quick Trim shoot.

Oh, Mr. Cameron. You didn't just rip off Delgo, did you? (Psst! That's awesome! We secretly love that movie!"

Talk about chubbing up. Lay off the Doritos and pick up the crystal meth!

You might have thought that Anna Faris would be perfect for you because she seems like a regular chick and she's funny and seems to be into fat dudes. Well, you're right. Except for the part about being into you...she's into the fat dude pictured above, who she married over the weekend.

Is Paris Hilton ever going to get fat and sloppy? Maybe she's not even human, and will forever stay young and hot and kind of stupid. We hope. Those are amazing traits.

Somebody turn off the air conditioning! We've got a live one here!

Lay off the cheesburgers, Jason Biggs. Just because you're not working lately doesn't give you a license to eat every studio head that doesn't put you in a movie.

It's good to know that even though she's been out of the limelight, Jessica Simpson still has her boobs. That just lets us know the world doing alright.

Seriously, does Heather Graham age? She's looked the same for the past ten years. Good jeans or good doctor?

Remember Natalie Imbruglia? She sings that one song we forgot the name off? Well yeah, here she is. She had to wear a bikini to make people notice here again.