This is what happens when you shoot your child out of a cannon and onto a Slip N' Slide. Failtastic!

He was one of our favorite broadcasters. Sadface.

We all hate PETA because they're just generally horrible and annoying. But if more of them looked like the above, we'd have reason to like them. And then bang them.

His friends said she kind of looked like a horse, but he didn't know what they were talking about.

Perez Hitlon got his ass beat by one of Will.i.Am's (ANNOYING NAME, DUDE!) people at the MuchMusic Awards this past weekend. Later The Mighty Gay One made a video about what happened, which is where this picture came from. It's fun to see this dude cry, right?

You might have thought that Anna Faris would be perfect for you because she seems like a regular chick and she's funny and seems to be into fat dudes. Well, you're right. Except for the part about being into you...she's into the fat dude pictured above, who she married over the weekend.

Is Paris Hilton ever going to get fat and sloppy? Maybe she's not even human, and will forever stay young and hot and kind of stupid. We hope. Those are amazing traits.

BREAKING NEWS: Lindsay Lohan is going to give birth to a bag of cocaine!

These pictures of Audrina Partridge in Cabo seriously make me forget she doesn't have a brain.

This is the extent of Bret Michael's injuries after a prop kicked his ass at the Tony's last week.

Because she's awesome, Heather Graham didn't wear a bra to the UK Hangover premiere. For this we believe she is the greatest actress of our generation.

It's good to know that even though she's been out of the limelight, Jessica Simpson still has her boobs. That just lets us know the world doing alright.

Seriously, does Heather Graham age? She's looked the same for the past ten years. Good jeans or good doctor?

Here's a leaked screen shot from one of Britney Spears' music videos. It's censored because her nipples aren't really that big a deal.

Remember Natalie Imbruglia? She sings that one song we forgot the name off? Well yeah, here she is. She had to wear a bikini to make people notice here again.

No, you're not seeing things. Those are a bunch of Princess Leias being hot and awesome and hitting each other with pillows.

If you have to wear a bathing suit this summer, make sure you have boobs.

If you're looking for an older lady, here is your best bet.

If you wear this at the dinner table your parents will smack the crap out of you. FYI!

It's funny because it's true. And you're a loser.