Or at least a well staged photograph.

Yeah, we'd definitely think about asking for her hand in marriage or just have sex with her. Whatevs.

100% more Annoying or a 100% Fierce? We'd like to punch her in the face either way - in a total non-wife-beat-y sort of way!

Well, that's what we've gathered from this sign at least.

We look and look and look at this photo but we have NO idea whether or not she has gut. Are we blind? Or do we just expect our bikini guts these days to be as flat as flat can be? We're picking up a Victoria Secret catalog to find out.

Mad Men star Christina Hendricks married someone this weekend. Not this guy though; he's just somebody with a cool mustache. Anyway, this picture should remind you that her new husband is probably the luckiest man alive. So is mustache man for standing next to her.

She's still hot with or without clothes.

Kanye, just let the man die in peace. Jeez.

A review of "Enemy of the State" that is just about the best thing ever.

Thank God for the internet. Thank God for TwitPic. If @kimkardashian didn't love to get almost naked so much these things would just be too boring for us. Here's Kim showing off her body as she gets it ready for a Quick Trim shoot.

This Real Housewife of Atlanta Super MILF is so about gay rights she's showing her boobs. Which makes sense! Boobs = GAY IS AWESOME, or something.

She must suck blood or something because those eyes definitely say "I'M NOT HUMAN. THERE IS SOMETHING WEIRD ABOUT ME."

Sometimes the internet just knows the right things to say.

Did K-Fed eat his kids or something? Dude is fat! In his defense though, fat people are considered "healthy" in his hometown of DouchebagVille.

Swimmer Ricky Berens accidentally split his uniform at the Fina World Championship in Rome. Or he just trying to use the swimming pool as a giant toilet. Who knows?

...or she wants to lick Quentin Tarantino's face. Which is it?

You mean he didn't bang Alba? That's the only reason to be happy these days.

Is that hair or just part of the bikini we're looking at? Confused.

She's either jumpin' or bangin'. Wait -- she's doing both!

Imagine walking into your office and seeing this. What would you do? Masturbate or run away as far as you can?