Jennifer Aniton broke away from her evil captor, Courtney Cox, and spent the day on the beach. Not bad for someone her age.

Good news perverts, Hayden P-Something has turned 18 and is now legal. Bad news, she still thinks you’re a fat loser.

Courtney Love is starting to channel her inner Muppet. She looks like a boozed up, coked out Janice. Too bad her husband is "Gonzo".

Congrats to Goldie Hawn who hasn’t aged much in the last few years. However, just to be fair, she looked like s**t beforehand. Can’t get much worse than the walking dead.

Worst Hood Ornament Ever!

There's a sinkhole in Mexico, and it's in Britney's ass. Too bad it couldn't suck up any of her cellulite (or crappy weave, for that matter).

Lindsay and similarly-out-of-it party buddy Vanessa Minnillo are playing bad with knives. Dangerously sexy!

Lindsay and her similarly-out-of-it party buddy are playing bad with knives. Dangerously sexy!

Britney was caught in a paparazzi mêlée on her way to the gym while she inexplicably sported a white towel wrapped on her face. Why in the world would she be wearing said towel in such a fashion? To pretend she's Santa Claus, that's why, Silly!

Hollywood's Drug Problem. Bad for young jonesing starlets… good for Star Jones!

Wow, an Olsen goes out shopping in her bra! Too bad we're not seeing anything. At all.

All I can say is, I feel bad for that bottle of Coke.

Sexiest sweater ever!

Oh, grandma gets so silly when she's drunk on her ass. Too bad she's gonna die soon.

Imagine, it's your birthday and a coworker surprises you with this cake!

This kid soooo wants to be a White Supremacist

We wonder if this guy has a bad ear wax problem.

We hate it when our dad uses our head as a urine sink.

This kid is so going to regret this when he gets older.