China's got back! In the world's largest bathroom!

Sisley's new controversial ad campaign features skinny models with their eyes rolled back, snorting "lines" off a white dress. Apparently spelling "fashion" like "heroin" is also chic, now.

Froot Loops now have straws made of cereal to suck up your leftover milk! No more looking like a slob, drinking from the bowl.

Back in the day, Benoir's wife wrestled for the NWA and dressed like a psychotic KISS fan.

Some coked-up jerk was being chased by the cops and tried to elude them by driving in loop-de-loops around this field. As you can imagine, this farmer wasn't pleased.

Apparently they are too big for their own good! How nice!

Actually, you're not authorized to enter through the gate, but they don't care if you just walk up the stairs. It's an important gate.

He was shot in the back of the head. What a shame. Now the Sesame Street neighborhood Girl Scouts will never make enough money for their camping trip.

Stare at this image of Paris Hilton weeping in the back seat of a squad car, and feel the tranquility sweep over your body, cleansing it with its calming coolness. Om......

Paris is getting hauled off *BACK* to Lynwood today! Are you ecstatic or sad?

This morning (June 8, 2007) Paris Hilton was cuffed and taken by squad car after a judge has ordered her back in court.... and back to JAIL!!

There's a sinkhole in Mexico, and it's in Britney's ass. Too bad it couldn't suck up any of her cellulite (or crappy weave, for that matter).

I'm not sure who Michele Merkin is, she's some sort of model apparently. What I do know is that she's got a super name. And I love her for that.

Apparently losing enough weight to make you look like a crack-ho inspired Jenna to plump up her face with 5 gallons of collagen. Desperation takes its toll, Jenna....

Nicole is looking dangerously thin again lately, and I've heard through a celebrity "doctor" that her stomach is bloated from malnutrition! O NOOOO!

Now that she's BACK in rehab with a DUI under her belt, Svedka Vodka has pulled the plug on hosting her party (as in, busloads of free vodka) and the tragic irony of a 20-year-old in a drunk driving accident just weeks before her 21st birthday starts to sink in. Fun!

Here's Mischa about to light up another doob. No wonder she sucks at driving, the girl's stoned all the time!

Miss Jessica was seen partying like a single gal (John Mayer dumped her!) at PURE nightclub in Vegas recently. When's she selling a blow-up doll of herself?

Jessica Simpson's gained weight recently, and it's really started to show. All the spray-on tanner in the world can't hide these rolls!!

While the paparazzi chased Paris as SHE was driving in her Bentley, they caught a glimpse into her window, texting Paris Latsis that she'd 'come by' after her lawyer meeting. She's gettin' some from a dude before she has to give it up to her bull-dyke cellmates!