For all the right reasons.

Oh, look who got a new pair of boobs! And from the looks of it they fell right out of a gumball machine and onto her chest. Now we know Amy is rich, so why does it look like she has a cheap a boob job as that girl in high school who got addicted to crack, like, ten years later?

Who in their right mind....

This Real Housewife of Atlanta Super MILF is so about gay rights she's showing her boobs. Which makes sense! Boobs = GAY IS AWESOME, or something.

Sometimes the internet just knows the right things to say.

Perez Hitlon got his ass beat by one of Will.i.Am's (ANNOYING NAME, DUDE!) people at the MuchMusic Awards this past weekend. Later The Mighty Gay One made a video about what happened, which is where this picture came from. It's fun to see this dude cry, right?

You might have thought that Anna Faris would be perfect for you because she seems like a regular chick and she's funny and seems to be into fat dudes. Well, you're right. Except for the part about being into you...she's into the fat dude pictured above, who she married over the weekend.

We had no idea we had to bend ourselves that way to pee. Ouch.

And by "assets", of course, we mean the things that make Susan Sarandon less annoying as an actress, activist and overall human being. Here's a recent photo of her at the SAG awards, along with her daughter Eva Amurii.

Send this to your friends when they're stoned. Trust us.

"Stop right there! I know I look like a nerd but I don't want anything to do with you!"

It's not racist if it's on eBay. Right? RIGHT GUYS?

One benefit to Lindsay's lesbian relationship is now she has a partner who really knows how to tweak a nipple just right; since she has access to her own set 24-7.

Almost forgot about you, how are you doing? Wearing sweatpants, smoking cigarettes, and showing a little bump, good to see you're staying the course.

Elizabeth Hasselbeck wants to change the party's symbol from the elephant to My Little Pony.

Her right eyebrow looks a little higher than the left but other than it looks like they did a beautiful job!

Most people will make a joke about how she "needs a piece of that cake", we'll go instead with "Porn retirement never tasted so sweet". We respect her right to starve.

There are worse jobs than being the guy who fondles Alessandra Ambrosio to get her bikini just right.

Damn right, you give those clothes to her. Make sure if she shirks her duties she'll have another "accident" from being so "clumsy".

"OK so get this officer, I was chasing a burglar out of my house, right? Then my pants just shot off into the street and he pulled out a gun, I got scared and I..."