Apparently, comparing Michael Bay to Hitler didn't exactly please Steven Spielberg and that's why she isn't in the new movie. As always, I am 100% Team Spielberg.

It's going to take a lot more than flowers to get in her pants, buddy. Start with trying to replace your face.

Megan Fox in a corset. Nothing more, nothing less.

We can't even look at Megan Fox without thinking how much she'd vomit if she saw us naked.

Megan "Angelina Jolie" Fox is looking at you like she wants to rape you. Or so you want to believe.

If you were Megan Fox you'd be all over yourself too.

One of the side effects of taking the Red Pill is you will never ever get a tan.

As Mitch Hedberg would say "it's so damn literal".

Standing next to Fergie and Donatella Versace kind of makes Megan Fox look like a fellow tranny.

Remember those pictures of her unfavorable backside? Well it seems Jennifer Love Hewitt's two best friends had something to say about that on the red carpet last night.

Brian Austin Green had his crotch fondled by Megan Fox. Looks like she had a whole other kind of turkey in her mouth this weekend.

Oh Paris, that stunning shade of "Recently gave a blow job" red really accents your smile… and the fact that you're an idiot.

Amanda Lepore, some sort of tranny, spilled its breasts during a recent red carpet walk. Sex is officially ruined.

Listen up sleuths, Carmen San Diego was spotted at the Lahore National Airport, you have 15 minutes to trap her by naming off African countries. Rockapella, take it away!

Danny Bonaduce Knocked out Johnny Fairplay at the FOX Reality TV awards. No one knows what started the brawl, but it was widely accepted that no one cared.

Adrian was not only the coolest red head on the block, but he was a bona fide sith lord. With his trusty lightsaber in hand, he was guaranteed to fend off any unwanted vaginal advances.

Quato, the talking fetus from Total Recall has FINALLY found new work! Thank God, watch him this fall on Fox, your home for quality entertainment.

Actress Kate Beckinsale has some dirty, nasty teeth that she didn't even brush before a red carpet appearance! Get thee to a dentist, woman!

Sarah Michelle Gellar (or SMG as I call her) was caught on camera with the reddest eyes this side of Jamaica. She was hanging out with Mischa Barton, mayhaps?

I'm not really sure who TV actress Megan Fox is, or why she might be famous, but she walked the red carpet at the MTV Movie Awards long enough for photogs to get a good shot of one stupid, nonsensical tattoo. 'Gilded butterflies'? Come on!!