With a real strict door policy.

Want to hook up with Jesus.

This is a woman who is clearly familiar with double-stick tape. But maybe she needed to air them out?

You know your night is gonna be crazy, when you hook up with this chick.

Yeah, we'd definitely think about asking for her hand in marriage or just have sex with her. Whatevs.

We 100% approve of Katy Perry's wardrobe.

We like it when Linday Lohan tries on shoes. And so do you.

Just kidding. We don't know if Lohan does meth, she probably doesn't. But we certainly know she has a meth face, which is the WORST kind of face if you're going to have any face at all.

Okay, we like Lindsay Lohan again. SUE US.

Mad Men star Christina Hendricks married someone this weekend. Not this guy though; he's just somebody with a cool mustache. Anyway, this picture should remind you that her new husband is probably the luckiest man alive. So is mustache man for standing next to her.

Never was there such a beauty in all the land. Lindsay Lohan, apple of our stinkeye.

She's still hot with or without clothes.

But she wants to spit in your face first.

Even though we would never be caught dead reading GQ Magazine (for fear that it will make us start dressing better!). But if they continue to populate that magazine with pictures like this, we'll get a lifetime subscription.

Usually, Audrina Partridge looks dumb in the face. But not here. She just looks totally hot, and I as I type this message here with one hand, I can't help but notice that I am going to explode soon.

After a nice hard day of work, nothing feels better than squeezing your way into a hot tub with another person. This is a lie.

Here is Kelly, vacationing in LA with her boobs and butt. That's all we need to say because we don't even think you're looking at these words at this point.

And her "precious" is a nice heaping pile of cocaine.

Here's Lindsay Lohan on the set of her new movie Machete. How she's working again we have no idea. All we know is that she sucks at using spray tan.

We have no idea why she's famous other than the fact that when you look at her it's like you're seeing an angel. An angel with a hot ass and really nice boobs.