Wow, we don't want to be mean or anything, but this fat ass really needs to lose some weight.

No Michael, we didn't come to see you. We are here for your delicious breads and pastries. Duh…

Get your head out of the gutter, fricking perverts. Its obviously nothing more than a huge penis.

How fat do you have to be in order for a DSL line to have trouble downloading your picture? This fat.

While taking a dump on your friends, it is always polite to bring reading material for both you and your toilet.

Oh Paris, that stunning shade of "Recently gave a blow job" red really accents your smile… and the fact that you're an idiot.

This new F1 lawnmower is built for speed, comfort and the expedient removal of your limbs.

Building a bridge over a river bed, because you think you're the man? Well Nature came up and just crap slapped you. Sit your ass down!

"So how is that rocking acting career coming along? Oh yeah, really? Umm yeah, you know what, I will have the Steak, thanks".

I guess these silly Asians don't know that's a word that only black people can use.

… about the moona and the juna and the spirnga, I like to singa.

Well at least it hasn't been used recently…

You best not step to me bleatch, I ain't gonna play.

What better way to court a lady than to scream "Look, I have no class."

What are the chances that a football player would come barreling down the sidelines? Actually pretty good, but the odds of another cameraman catching your "oh crap" face… that’s just gold.

This is the highest pinnacle of parenting possible. Any of you Nancy boys who "love" and "care" for your child are just a bunch of tools.

We are not quite sure what this is, but its somewhat cute and incapable of running away. The excellent pet for your favorite Socialite.

Candy Flavored sex toys are nothing new, but this is the first time you can stick candy corn up your corn hole.

Can you imagine waking up in the middle of the night, only to find this creature rummaging through your trash bin? Ewww!

This fish, known as a Great Swallower, bite off a little more than it could chew. Then, in a moment of pure brilliance, his stomach split open and he died.