According to every penis in the world, this lady won the best butt of 2009.

In this recession you have to save every penny. Even if it means wearing your crappy underwear as a sports bra.

Is that a penis or alien growing out of Kelly Ripa's stomach? Please, let us know, at it will help decide how hard we want to hurl.

Sometimes it just takes a picture to let you know why American is awesome.

We really don't know why strippers are allowed to have kids if they can't match their shoes.

If we saw this sign posted in our gym we'd immediately vomit all over the Stair Master.

Here's Larry Wachowski, the director of The Matrix. His name is now Lana and he wears your mom's underwear.

Parents beware: this is how the Pigapocalypse started.

Can one photo contain this much FAIL. The answer is yes.

We'd love to skateboard on this if only to a rim job of the rails on a half pipe. (wait...we're trying to talk Sk8r. Did that make any sense?)

This is how she's feeding that deformed stomach of hers? That thing needs to call down before it turns into a TOOOOMER.

By smoking a joint, what did you expect her to plant a tree and drive a hybrid?

Real Housewife from New York cast member Kelly Bensimon has a boob job so bad the boobs are trying to hide for cover.

Contrary to popular belief, it is possible to will your boobs to grow.

Yes, Anna Kournikova is looking at your love handles and thinking she definitely doesn't want to bang you.

You so want to bone Audrina's bones, don't you?

At least they didn't have to photoshop her boobs.

Rihanna's new tattoo is a message to girls EVERYWHERE. What it's saying, we have no idea.

If Hilary Duff had boobs she'd be a lot less annoying and we'd probably really dig her music. This totally fake photo makes us dream things. Yeah, we're shallow.

Yum! Gorilla Boogers make a delicious snack for any slob!